The hot steam of the shower couldn't even soothe me. I knew I could live without him, but my heart was still breaking just thinking about a life without Chase. I choked on a sob and soon my tears blended in with the water pouring on me. I pressed my hands to the wall of the shower to keep myself standing and cried harder than I ever have. Chase's hands turned me around and clutched me to him as my body shook with sobs. When I opened my eyes I realized he still had his jeans on and was completely soaked. I looked up to his face and memorized his hard jaw, full lips, perfect nose, bright blue eyes and shaggy wet hair. Even in pain, he was incredibly handsome.
“Why are you in here?”
“Because you need me,” His voice was hoarse, “and if this is my last hour with you, I'm not going to waste another second of it.”
He touched his lips to mine, and I met his kiss greedily. It was difficult, but we somehow managed to get his jeans off before he pressed me into the wall and positioned himself with my legs wrapped around him. I knew I was breaking my heart more, and adding more hurt to my relationship with Brandon, but I needed this last time with Chase. He slowly made love to me as the hot water continued to pour over us, and though I was no longer sobbing, a steady stream of tears ran down my face the entire time. He knew this was our last time to be together too, and the mixture of love, passion, pain and sadness made for the most beautiful experience of my life. Neither of us spoke after as we helped each other wash our hair and bodies, or when we dried off and dressed, but our eyes never once left each other’s. They said everything for us in that last hour. He drove me to his house so I could pick up Brandon's Jeep, and we sat there for another twenty minutes just holding hands, his thumb making circles against my palm. I glanced down at the clock and pulled the keys out my purse with a sigh. I grabbed the door handle but his voice stopped me.
“Harper,” he spoke around the lump in his throat, “I will love you for the rest of my life.”
I couldn't turn to look at him, I just kept my eyes on the handle, “You will always be in my heart Chase Grayson.” I walked away then, and didn't look back.
8
I glanced in the rear view mirror and groaned when I saw my reflection. I looked terrible, but at least I actually looked like I had been sick. After a few breaths in and out, I put the ache to the back of my mind and focused on Brandon. He is who I want and who I need. I don't deserve him, but as long as he wants me, I'll be his. I walked to the baggage claim area and after a few minutes of waiting, saw him walking in a crowd of people. My heart tightened and I took off running towards him. I'd been unfaithful, and I was a horrible person, but I was madly in love with this man.
“Babe, I missed you!” I giggled when he immediately swept me up into his arms.
He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead, “God, I missed you too.”
“I'm so glad you're back.”
“How are you feeling sweetheart?”
“Better now that you're here.” I wrapped one hand around his neck and trailed my other fingers across his cheekbone, jaw and lips.
“I'm sorry I wasn't last night.”
“Don't be, it wouldn't have been a fun night for you.” Really. It wouldn't have been.
“Is there anything we need to get you on the way back?”
A time machine so I can go back two weeks. “No, honestly I feel so much better. Must have been one of those twenty four hour things, just take me home.”
I almost sighed in relief when I saw the driveway empty of Chase's truck, I couldn't face him when I walked into Brandon's room. While Brandon took a shower, I dressed in one of his button-up shirts and a pair of boy-cut underwear and climbed onto his bed. I knew it would drive him crazy, and as horrible as I will be for it, I needed to have a steamy session with him to push Chase even farther from my thoughts. Bree was right, this poor guy was going to explode if I didn't take it to the next level soon. But I hadn't been ready before, and damn if I thought I could be ready now. How was I supposed to let him love me and love him back in that way when he thought he was the first person I'd ever been with?
“Aw hell baby.” He groaned as his eyes raked over me.
I faked confusion and hurt as I got off the bed, “Oh, well if you want me to change, I will.”
He picked me up and slammed us onto the bed, pinning my body under his. He kissed me thoroughly and I forced myself not to compare his kisses to Chase's. I emptied my mind and focused on nothing but his lips covering mine, and his hand under the shirt on my waist. His other hand cupped under my left knee and hitched it up around his hip, when his fingers moved back to my borrowed shirt, he stopped and pushed off me. Lifting the shirt up to my waist he ran a hand over my tattoo and smiled as he brought his lips back to mine.
“You like?”
“You have no idea how sexy you are.” He growled against my mouth.
I ran my hands over his head and pressed my chest to his. Bringing my other leg up to his hip as well, he pressed me deeper into the mattress when Bree came into the house shouting my name.
“You have got to be kidding me.” I groaned and slapped a hand over my face.
Brandon chuckled in frustration and jumped off me to cover me with the comforter then went to find a shirt. “I needed to stop anyway.” He smiled and bent down to kiss me, his now gray eyes were still burning.
“HARPER!”
“She's in here Bree.” Adding softly, “You're in trouble.” He left my side with a parting wink.
“Do you have any idea how scared I was? I thought you died!”
I burst into laughter, and laughed even harder when she narrowed her eyes at me. “Really Bree? You thought I died?”
“Well okay, I thought you were in the hospital but you always answer your phone, and no one could get a hold of you. What was I supposed to think?”
“Uh...I didn't feel good, you didn't ever consider that maybe I just fell asleep and had my phone on vibrate?”
“I thought you said it was in the other room.” She deadpanned.
“It was, and it was on vibrate.”
“Oh, well then...No.”
I rolled my eyes at my friend, “I'm sorry I worried you both, and I'm really sorry that you all had to come back a day early.” I shot my eyes over to Brandon, “Well maybe not you.” I teased.
“You should be, and I'm going to kill Chase.” I tensed at his name, “This could have all been avoided if he wasn't off screwing some chick last night.”
Dear Lord my cheeks better not be bright red right now. “Bree, it's not his job to babysit me. You can't be mad at him.”
“Just don't scare me like that again, I love you.”
“Love you too friend.” I reached out to hug her, “And as much as I love you, I really need time with my man.”
She snorted and smacked my arm, “Be good. We brought Chinese home if you guys are hungry.”
Brandon sank to the bed and I crawled onto his lap. “So what would you say to grabbing some food, bringing it back here and just be alone the rest of the night?”
“I'd say it's exactly what we need.” He hooked an arm under my knees and carried me out to the kitchen.
“Brandon!” I hissed, “I'm not wearing pants put me down!”
He dropped my legs quickly and tugged on the shirt I was wearing so it was longer than most the skirts I wear. When your boyfriend is over a foot taller than you, his shirts practically become a dress. We looked through the takeout boxes and picked two of them when Chase walked through the living room. He slowed and looked at us, his eyes went wide and pain flashed through them before he could compose his face and gave us a hard nod. My jaw had dropped when I saw him and I forced it shut right before Brandon looked at me. I turned to grab silverware and chastised myself for standing here laughing with my boyfriend wearing nothing but his shirt. It was normal and needed for me and Brandon, but the exact opposite of what I wanted to do to Chase. Taking a calming breath, I walked back over and gave Brandon a playful nudge so he would follow me back to his room.
“How was the rest of your vacation?” I asked Brandon who was sitting with his back against the headboard, while I leaned against the side wall with my legs crossed onto his lap.
“Good, I really wish you would have stayed, but it was good to catch up with friends.”
“I'm glad you got to. Thanks for taking me, I loved meeting your mom.” I smiled to myself, remembering her bubbly personality, “She's great.”
He nodded and swallowed some food, “She loves you already.” He took the bite of chicken off my fork and pointed at my hand. “Where'd you get that?”
I looked at the ring and itched to hide it, not that it would do much good now. I shrugged as nonchalantly as possible and answered around a bite of food. “Chase.”
His face fell and it took a few seconds before he continued chewing. “Chase gave you a ring?”
“It's not a big deal.”
“A ring.” He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Everyone in the family gave me a few things Brandon.”
“A few? What else did he give you?”
Crap. I took my time chewing and swallowing that next bite, but forced my eyes to stay glued to his. “My tattoo.”
“Chase did your tattoo? You didn't think that was something I'd want to know?”
No, I just knew you'd be mad. “I didn't know it mattered that much to you. Would you have rather me gone to someone you didn't know?”
“At least that guy wouldn't have a history of trying to take you from me.”
“Babe, that never happened, and even if it had, he didn’t succeed. You need to get over it.”
“Not li–”
“Can we not do this please? I just got you back and I want to enjoy my night with you.”
“Fine. But next time, I would really appreciate if you didn't let him touch you for four hours.”