He eased back and scrubbed his hands over his face. Three days’ worth of whiskers scratched his palms. His neck hurt, his eyes burned, his stomach growled, his hip ached. Hard to believe he slept at all when he felt like a caged animal. “Sorry. I’m a little out of it.”
“That’s understandable. I’m assuming no change in Carolyn’s condition?”
“Nope.”
Channing backed off and perched in the chair across from him. She eyed the stacks of magazines. “I’m glad Quinn brought you a distraction.”
“Is that why you’re here, darlin’? To distract me?”
She cocked her head. “Not even close. But we’ll get to that in a bit.”
“Now you’re scarin’ me.”
“The almighty Carson McKay scared of little ol’ me?” She laughed. “That’ll be the day.”
“So what’s on your mind?”
“Besides the sad fact that the most thoughtful, generous, caring, sweetest, fiercest woman I know is lying in a hospital bed, fighting for her life? That’s pretty much all that’s on my mind, and anyone else’s mind who loves her. And who loves you.”
Uncomfortable, he looked down at his hands. “I know how Colby feels about her, Channing. But that don’t change nothin’. He can’t…” See her like that. He could at least admit to himself that it wasn’t only the threat of germs keeping everyone out of her hospital room, but the knowledge that Carolyn had always taken such pride in her appearance and she wouldn’t want people gawking at her like she’d become a science experiment.
“I didn’t show up to browbeat you about the parameters you set for your adult children regarding your wife; that, as adults, they should accept without question and understand since they’re all married themselves.”
He glanced up at her. “Well, that’s a relief.”
“However…I am here to browbeat you about something else.”
Shit. “What now?”
“While I know you’ve not let your personal hygiene slide entirely, you’re skating on that thin line. You haven’t been home, which means you’ve been wearing the same clothes since you rode here in the ambulance…three days ago.”
“So?
“So, you need to go home and shower, shave off the raggedy beard you’re sporting, and put on some clean clothes.”
He bristled—rightly so. “What part of I ain’t leavin’ her is confusing to you kids?”
Again, Channing got right in his face. “What part of you smell bad, you look like a hobo, and after three days of constant wear, your dirty, germ-laden clothes might be putting your wife at risk is confusing to you? Not to mention that Carolyn would seriously kick your ass if she saw you out in public like this.”
That gave him pause. Serious pause.
“You said yourself that nothing has changed with her condition and nothing will change for several more days. The doctors won’t attempt to wake her while you’re gone. So take a couple of hours. Get some fresh air. Clear your head and clean up, you’ll feel better for it. Plus, you left in an awful damn hurry so do a walkthrough of your house and give yourself piece of mind that all is safe on the home front. Get your cell phone charger since your phone is dead. And yes, I know that because my husband has bitched about not being able to get in touch with you. Not that you want to talk to him or your other kids. But at least if you had your phone charged you could check on cattle futures and play Farmville on Facebook.”
Right. Playing games on his phone? Never gonna happen. The only reason he’d gotten a smart phone was so he could get pictures of his grandkids.
But he could admit that itchy feeling between his shoulder blades had been building all day. Seemed a lifetime since he’d seen something besides these walls. He imagined filling his lungs with real air, not this sterilized oxygen.
“If nothing else, grab some fresh clothes for Carolyn to wear home from the hospital while you’re there.”
That cinched it for him. He’d go. Wait. He didn’t have a vehicle here. But Channing did. “You’ll lend me your SUV?”
“I’ll go you one better.” She reached in her pocket and handed over his set of keys. “Good thing you ranchers are a trusting lot and leave your keys in your truck.”
“Damn good thing. Did Colby take you over to our place?”
Channing rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? AJ picked me up and dropped me off. Your sons are being a special brand of difficult right now, so we’re letting them stew and following our own agenda.” She jabbed her finger at him. “Don’t you dare rat us out, Carson McKay.”
“You have my word I won’t. Thanks. I…” His gaze moved to the door to Carolyn’s room, indecision tearing at him. Last night, Lissa, the nurse who’d warned him it’d be better if he didn’t leave the ICU waiting room for the duration, had recanted her original advice and told him to get some fresh air today.
“Go,” Channing said softly. “I will sit right here in your spot until you return. I won’t let anyone in. I won’t go in myself.” She took his hand. “Let me be your fill-in guard dog for a few hours. Please. You deserve a break, and stinky man, you need a shower.”
Carson squeezed her hand. “Bold as brass you are, girlie. I never woulda thought you had it in you. Then again, you gave me what-for when I asked about you and Colby that weekend we first met in Cheyenne.”
“You are an intimidating man. I knew you didn’t think I was right for him, but you didn’t know me, and it just made me mad that you assumed.”
“I remember. But you’ve proved me wrong over the years, and that’s gotta feel good.”
When she cocked her head again, he knew he was in for it.
“What?”
“You may feel that way now, but after Colby’s injury, whenever I called to check on him, you didn’t deliver my messages. Why is that?”
“Stuff like that needed to be said in person, not passed from you to me to my son.”
“So you weren’t trying to keep me from Colby?”
“Of course I was.”
Her lips flattened.
“But it didn’t work, did it? And darlin’, if I would’ve scared you off? Then you weren’t meant to be with him anyway.”
“You sneaky-assed man. I hope Carolyn punished you good for your meddling. Colby said she could put the screws to you way worse than he ever could.”