Chapter 446: Loneliness is the greatest enemy
Dawn, who was struggling in battle, did not know that there were people discussing her Sword Truth, obsession and childhood from a distance away. She did not know that the youth that had luckily survived her attack had hit upon the truth.
Yes, she was in a dilemma.
Her dilemma prevented her from having the intention to kill.
Without killing intent, she was naturally unable to activate her massacring Sword Truth. All she could do was use Sword Intent which did not need any obsession.
However, Sword Intent was not able to withstand Sword Truth after all. Furthermore, the youth that was attacking her in an incessant manner had an obsession that was so striking. His Sword Truth was resplendent gold. It was dazzling and pretty like the star-filled sky.
His physical condition was surprisingly powerful. His pure strength and speed was superior to her whom had used ‘God’s Blessings’ on herself. His flash motion technique’s realm was not much weaker than hers. His dual-blade kamikaze fighting style was so scoundrelly that she was too deep for tears.
Dawn had to admit that he was a rather tough opponent. This was an intense battle that would be rather difficult to win. If not, she would not have been retreating so much as though she was pathetically fleeing.
But she maintained her calm state of mind from the very beginning. Even though there were the occasional vexed emotions, it was because of her own dilemma and not because of the difficult situation in front of her.
It was because she was filled with confidence from the very beginning.
She was confident that once she stopped being in a dilemma and at the instant she activated her Sword Truth, the scales of balance for victory will be broken. She would one-shot the bastard that kept reaching out for a yard after taking an inch.
She firmly believed that. Therefore, she did not feel any vexed emotions from the tough battle in front of her.
Her mind could only constantly repeat two words.
Kill him!
Kill him!!
Kill him!!!
But even though she frenziedly tried to hypnotize herself, she was still unable to shrug off her dilemma.
She had no way. She really had no way to generate any killing intent for the black-haired youth.
Even though he had used a series of lies to fool her. Even though he had used shameless words of ‘having seen every part of your body and that even the red mole under your armpit was clearly seen’ to tease her. Even though he had used a dual-blade kamikaze style to scoundrelly to attack her with an ever-increasing insatiability, like a gum that was frenetically sticking close to her. Even though…
Even though he had done so many things that she hated, she was still unable to generate any thoughts of killing him.
That was because she did not want to kill him.
It obviously wasn’t love at first sight, or some cliché plot of her being subdued before falling into the rivers of love.
In fact, she did not have a good impression of him. Instead, it was mostly detest. The only thing worth mentioning was his intelligence and wit which resulted in her having a trivial sense of appreciation for him.
However, she did not want to kill him. She really did not want to kill him.
That was because he made her feel a sense of reality.
For the first time in her life, he made her feel like a real existence.
To her, that feeling of reality was rare and valuable. It was so rare that she felt that no one would be able to give her that feeling of reality again if she killed him.
…
Back when she was three, the young girl was thrown into an inhabited island filled with beasts.
Beasts, poisonous bugs, man-eating plants, even to the point of having a few demonic beasts mixed in, was the first difficulty she faced. In order to live on, she needed to survive through those dangers.
Thankfully, she was a true prodigy. Although she was not born with knowledge, she possessed an intelligence that far exceeded ordinary people from birth. In three years, she had learned the knowledge that ordinary people would take more than a decade to learn. Most importantly, she learned how to be resolute from her mother who suffered a terminal illness.
The resolute her did not wallow in despair or commit suicide, much less do nothing while waiting for death.
Her face was stained with tears as she endured all sorts of difficulties. After countless close encounters with Death, she learned how to avoid danger and hide herself. She managed to find a space to survive amid the beasts, poisonous bugs and man-eating plants.
Of course, simple evasion and hiding was insufficient for her to live on because hunger was the second difficulty she faced.
In order not to starve to death, she needed to find food.
In the beginning, she ate sour fruits, dry and hard tree bark, or gross earthworms. Finally, she began psionic cultivation from the books from her memories. She became hungrier as the amount of energy needed to make up for her energy expenditure increased.
Therefore, in order to survive, she needed to know how to kill.
Hunting beasts was her only path for survival.
Kill!
Kill!
And more killing!
In order to survive, she needed to turn those ferocious beasts into her food.
After she learned how to kill, disease was the third difficulty she faced.
At the beginning, she did not have the ability to make fire. By enduring the grossness and nausea, she ate raw meat and even worms. The unprocessed food sent germs into her stomach constantly, so it obviously caused her physiological health to suffer.
However, even though she was sick, so sick to the point of death, she had to maintain her clarity of mind because she needed to avoid danger. She needed to hunt. She needed to survive on that inhabited island.
No one could help her and no one would fall from the sky to become her hero.
Therefore, she could only save herself. She could only become her own hero.
Through her vague memories of text that described holy light treatment, she managed to create and modify through trial and error a healing technique that was unique to her. She called it Healing of the Dawn.
She used Healing of the Dawn to treat herself of her sickness.
Through the knowledge of sword techniques in her mind, she used tree branches as swords and would brandish her ‘sword’ whenever she had the time. She would constantly brandish it and gradually went from knowing nothing to possessing sword attacks, sword beams and finally Sword Intent.
And when she used Sword Intent to slash out a fiery sword strike, even a tiny flame made her finally tear up. Because from that moment, she could finally eat cooked food. She finally did not need to endure the feeling of torturing her throat as she swallowed the gross and nauseating raw meat.
After settling her danger, hunger and illness, she finally managed to have a slightly more normal life.
However, the test of the greatest difficulty finally befell her—Loneliness.
At the beginning when she was only bent on surviving, she did not have that much time to consider other matters. However, once her life finally stabilized, loneliness and boredom began flooding her senses, drowning the young her.
She did not know how long she needed to survive on the inhabited island. Neither did she know if anyone would come rescue her. To her, the inhabited island was a prison. It was a life imprisonment without parole.
And in this prison, there was no other human except her.
That was a world where only one girl lived.
In that world, no one could hear her voice.
Her voice only produced words that did not reach anyone, neither would it receive any response.
Loneliness and boredom began to slowly devour her determination.
Finally, one day, after enduring countless difficulties while she remained strong, she finally had the first thought of committing suicide despite the fact that it was not easy for her to survive for that long.
So loneliness was the greatest enemy.