If Not for You - Page 28/71

“Yes … no, I guess not. It’s no big deal. I’d rather not do it is all.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “I like the beach and everything, but I’m not a good swimmer and—”

“It’ll help, babe.”

“Sam, please, I’ve listened to all the arguments. No one is more eager to get back to my life than me. I’m not convinced it will do much good, and I don’t want to put myself through the anxiety of getting into the water. It’s not a big deal.”

He went still, preparing an argument.

Beth interrupted his thoughts by punching him playfully on his forearm. “Stop calling me babe.”

He frowned, taken aback by her request. “I thought you liked it.”

“Generally I do, especially when you say it in that sexy tone of voice. One look into your eyes and I’m ready to dive into the deep end of the pool.”

“Good, that’s what I want to hear.”

“But not when it sounds like you’re disappointed in me. Then it sounds like a chastisement.”

“You’re afraid?” He suspected that was the case.

Her beautiful eyes looked up at him. “I’m not much of a water person and—”

“Would it help if I got in the pool with you?”

Her eyes widened, as if she wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly. “You’d do that?”

“If it would help you, of course.”

She appeared stunned. “I … I don’t know.”

“If you’re worried about getting in, I’ll lift you so you won’t have to climb down the steps.”

“It isn’t that.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It shouldn’t be a big deal—”

“Something happened, didn’t it?”

She sighed and after a moment nodded. “I was eight and the son of a family friend held my head underwater. He was older and he thought it was funny. I thought I was going to drown. I’ve been uncomfortable in water ever since. It’s silly, I know.”

“It isn’t silly.” Sam didn’t know the name of the boy who’d frightened her, but if he ever met the jerk he was determined to make him pay for terrorizing Beth.

“It’s time I got over this, isn’t it?”

“You can do this, Beth.”

“You’ll come in with me the first time?”

“Said I would, didn’t I? I’ll come more than once if you need me to.”

She looked at Sam with such adoration that he thought his heart would quit beating. What she didn’t know was that he’d be willing to walk over hot coals if she asked it of him. Hot coals, sharp knives, anything. She was that important to him.

Yup, he was in big trouble.

Chapter 14

Beth

Beth was convinced it was a mistake to let Sam talk her into getting into the pool for her physical therapy. This phobia of being in the water was completely irrational. It wasn’t like someone would leap into the pool, grab her, and hold her head underwater. She wasn’t a kid any longer.

As a young girl Beth had been terrified of drowning. The ocean didn’t bother her nearly as much as an enclosed swimming pool. A pool with lifeguards and people around was actually much safer than the potential for disaster in a vast ocean. Little soothed Beth more than spending time on the beach. She’d gone several times as a youth with Sunshine to Seaside, Oregon, and had loved every minute. Their time at the seashore held some of her favorite childhood memories. But an enclosed pool terrified her.

Monday morning, Beth hoped Sam would forget all about his promise. It meant him taking half a day off work. That was a lot to ask even if he had volunteered. She’d tried to talk him out of it, claiming it wasn’t necessary, but Sam had insisted. She hated that he would need to be away from the garage because she was paranoid of the pool. It embarrassed her to be weak. Repeatedly Sam had assured her it was nothing. She knew otherwise.

Beth kept a close eye on the clock, dreading the physical therapy. When Sam hadn’t shown up by the time the therapist arrived, she felt a certain relief. And equal measures of dread. Unfortunately, the pool time had been set. As much as she would have liked to get out of this, there was no backing out now.

“It’s going to be fine,” Cassandra, the therapist, assured her. “We’ll go nice and slow. If you get uncomfortable, let me know and we’ll make other arrangements.”

“You promise?”

“Of course, but I know you’re going to be just fine.”

Beth didn’t find her confidence reassuring, especially since Sam seemed to have been delayed.

Which surprised her. Usually Sam was punctual; being late was unlike him. A hundred excuses ran through her mind. He might have gotten unexpectedly called in to work or he’d gotten delayed in traffic. Perhaps he’d changed his mind and decided it was time for her to put on her big girl pants and face her fears. None of that added up though. If he’d been delayed or something unexpected had come up he would have sent a text. Now she had two concerns on her mind. The pool and Sam.

Cassandra glanced at her watch. “I’m afraid we can’t wait for your friend any longer.”

Beth swallowed against the tightness in her throat and squared her shoulders, determined to make the best of it. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

By the time they got into the pool area, her heart was palpitating at an alarming rate. The pool was booked for the hour and Beth did her best to delay as long as possible, taking off her robe, pulling back her hair.

Unable to put it off any longer, Beth let Cassandra help her into the water. Although it was a welcome eighty-three degrees, the shock of it caused Beth to gasp. She stood on her tiptoes and hugged her arms close to her sides.

“You’ll warm up soon enough,” the therapist assured her.

Beth offered her a weak smile, struggling not to hyperventilate from the cold and the ever-present fear of actually being in a pool.

“How are you doing?” Cassandra asked.

Unable to answer verbally, Beth nodded, certain all the blood had drained from her face. Thankfully, Cassandra had a tight grip on her hands, steadying her.

“We’ll be finished before you know it.”

“Good.”

The door to the pool opened and Sam came inside. Beth’s grip on the therapist’s hands instantly loosened.

“Sam.” She didn’t bother to hide how happy she was to see him. She was about to say more when she noticed the somber look about him.

“Sorry I’m late.” He looked decidedly uneasy and his gaze just managed to avoid meeting hers. Something had happened, and while she wanted to ask him what, it wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have in front of her therapist.

After a moment, he looked her way and offered her a weak smile. That was all she needed to relax. Having Sam with her was enough to soothe her fragile nerves. Her fear didn’t completely vanish, but with him in the room, it became manageable.

While they waited, he quickly divested himself of his jeans. He had on his swim trunks. Beth noticed his long legs and the dark hair that covered them. He started toward the steps leading into the water when Cassandra stopped him.

“You’ll need to remove your shirt.”

Sam hesitated. “I can’t keep it on?”

“No. Street clothes aren’t allowed to be worn in the pool.”

After several uncomfortable moments, Sam grabbed the T-shirt at the back of his neck and jerked it off, tossing it carelessly aside. He was in the water in quick order, almost as if he couldn’t get in fast enough.

Beth didn’t understand. His naked torso instantly captured her attention. He had washboard abs and was a fine specimen of manhood. There wasn’t a spare ounce of fat on him. Certainly there was no reason for him to be self-conscious about his body. Then she noticed the tattoo over his heart.

Lucinda.

He had a woman’s name tattooed there in a flowing French script with curves and swirls that were artistic. As she repeated the name in her mind, it sounded almost poetic.

They hadn’t discussed his past loves. The subject had never come up in casual conversation. It was clear, however, that Lucinda was someone special to Sam. This helped explain why he was late and why he’d wanted to wear the T-shirt into the water. He hadn’t wanted Beth to see the tattoo or to know about this woman.