If Not for You - Page 29/71

She didn’t understand what the problem was. It was understood that he had been involved in other relationships. Perhaps not recently, but in the past. And really, why should it matter? But apparently it did to Sam.

Beth remembered when Nichole first mentioned her meeting Sam. Her friend told her it had been a while since he’d been involved with anyone. At the time, Beth hadn’t given it a second thought, and really, why should she? That night at the dinner, Beth never expected they would have any kind of relationship.

On the positive side, seeing the other woman’s name etched on Sam’s chest like a banner helped distract her from her fears as she went through the therapy exercises. With Sam next to her in the water, it helped quiet her fears. He ignored the question in her eyes.

Cassandra started to run Beth through a series of movements, but Sam at her side was a major distraction.

“Pay attention, babe.”

“I’m trying,” she muttered under her breath. Her head was buzzing. First off, looking at Sam and his muscular body filled her with longing. She wanted nothing more than to run her hands up his bare chest. It was more than his body that kept her preoccupied. Seeing another woman’s name tattooed over his heart filled her head with questions.

“Beth,” Cassandra said, causing her to jerk away from Sam’s hold.

As if guessing he was causing a problem, Sam moved behind Beth and placed his hands on her waist in order to help her maintain her balance. If he thought he was helping, he wasn’t. Having him stand this close, his breath fanning the back of her neck, caused an eruption of goosebumps.

Sam noticed. “Is the water too cold?” he whispered close to her ear.

Doing her best to concentrate on the exercises, Beth madly shook her head. “No … it’s fine,” she said, not wanting him to know what he did to her.

“You’re doing good, babe,” he said, talking under Cassandra as she counted out the numbers of repetitive movements as Beth exercised the muscles that would aid coordination and speed up the healing process.

As best she could Beth, did what was asked of her, but her focus was on Sam instead of the exercise routine. Try as she might to pay attention to Cassandra, Beth couldn’t help being aware of Sam’s close proximity. When her foot slipped and she started to go under, Beth gasped, fear paralyzing her. Before a scream could escape, Sam’s arms were around her, holding her upright.

“No fear, babe, I’ve got you.” His arms held her tight around her middle, pulling her against his torso. Beth closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his warm skin rubbing against her own. She felt dizzy and disoriented and it had nothing to do with nearly having her head go under the water. It was all Sam.

“Beth.” Cassandra joined her. “You okay? Are you having a panic attack?”

“Sorry … no, I’m fine. I slipped …”

Sam’s hold on her hadn’t loosened. If anything, he seemed to keep her closer than ever. Beth saw Cassandra’s gaze clash with his as if the physical therapist was letting him know he had become more of a distraction than a help. Sam reluctantly released her.

Cassandra exhaled. “I think that should be enough for today.”

Beth’s gaze shot to the clock on the wall and she noticed it’d been only thirty minutes. Not that she was complaining.

Now that Sam was in front her, Beth’s gaze repeatedly skimmed over the tattoo.

Cassandra seemed to sense the two of them needed time alone and made an excuse to head into the locker room. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, getting out of the pool and reaching for her towel.

“Okay,” Beth said, her eyes centered on Sam.

As soon as the door closed, Beth offered him a weak smile. “I appreciate you coming.”

He shrugged, discounting her gratitude.

She wasn’t good at ignoring the elephant in the room, or in this case the alligator circling them in the water. “You didn’t want me to see this tattoo, did you?” She slid her index finger over Lucinda’s name, letting it linger there.

He didn’t answer. He kept his hands on her waist as if afraid she might slip again.

Beth glanced up, hoping to make eye contact, but Sam’s gaze was focused on something on the other side of the pool. “Clearly this woman is someone you loved in the past.”

“No,” he corrected. “It’s someone I love now.”

“Oh.” She blinked at the shock of the words. Although she’d known Sam only a few weeks, she knew in her heart it wasn’t in him to be involved with two women at the same time.

“Oh Sam, I’m sorry. Did she die?”

“No.”

Beth was more confused than ever. “Oh.” She wished she could think of something more to say other than a stunned response.

“I’d rather not talk about it.” He dropped his hands and started for the edge of the pool, leaving her standing in the water while he grabbed a towel and started drying off. He kept his back to her, ignoring her as he dried and hurriedly dressed.

Beth tried to think of something to say that would break the tension between them. Some joke they could both laugh at, but nothing came to mind.

Thankfully, Cassandra returned. By the time Beth was out of the water, Sam was dressed and had the beach towel bunched up in his arms.

“I need to get to the garage.”

“Of course. I appreciate you coming.”

“No problem. You did great.”

Overwhelmed as she was, Beth doubted she’d done anything more than make a fool of herself, the way her mind had been focused on Sam.

“You’ve proved you can do it. You won’t need me again, right?” Sam said.

It wasn’t really a question. This was his way of letting her know he had no intention of getting back in the water with her.

Sam started for the door.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah. Work, babe.”

He couldn’t seem to get away from her fast enough. “Thanks for coming,” she called after him.

He looked back and nodded. “Later.”

“Later,” she echoed. But Beth had the feeling it might be a while before she saw Sam again.

And she was right.

Chapter 15

Sam

It’d been a mistake to get into the pool with Beth. Now Sam was placed in the unenviable position of deciding what to do next. He knew it was coming, knew there was no avoiding telling her about Lucinda. If their relationship had any kind of future, he would need to explain.

Two days later, Sam got a call from Rocco. He wasn’t surprised and actually wondered why it took that long.

His friend was never one to beat around the bush. Without any form of greeting, he said, “Nichole asked me about Lucinda.”

“Figured that was bound to happen.” Sam exhaled as he sat in front of his television and crossed his ankles on the coffee table. “Beth must have called Nichole.”

“You have a crystal ball or something?”

Sam ignored the question. “What did you say?”

“Said it was your story to tell. How’d Beth find out about her?”

When he’d agreed to get in the pool with Beth, Sam had completely forgotten about the tattoo on his chest. It was such a part of him now that he no longer noticed or even thought about it.

Only on Monday morning, when he put on his swim trunks, did he realize there was no way to stop Beth getting a full view of her name. He wasn’t ready to let Beth open the door to that cesspool, but there was no avoiding it once he was required to take off his shirt.

“She saw my tattoo,” he told Rocco.

“You walking around that hospital without a shirt these days?” The question was half tease, half serious.

“First off, it isn’t a hospital, and second, no. I helped her with her PT in a pool.” In his mind it was either break his promise to Beth or reveal the biggest heartache of his life.

“You gonna tell her?”

Sam figured he didn’t really have a choice. The fact that he hadn’t gone to visit her in two days weighed heavy on him. He’d missed being with her. He’d missed seeing her face light up when he walked into her room. And he especially missed jamming with her. His evenings had taken on an entirely new purpose. Making music with Beth had given him joy, the kind of joy that built up inside, fueling him like tinder to a fire. Those hours with her fed his soul. He’d been out of sorts for the last two evenings not being with Beth; not sitting at her side, strumming his guitar as she played the piano.