Beth didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally she kissed the back of his hand and then held it against the side of her face.
“Later, shortly after I gave up all rights to Lucinda, Rocco got full custody of Kaylene. He made it work. It wasn’t easy having a kid around, especially without a lot of family support, but he managed. Right or wrong, I realized I would have found a way, had I taken the baby.”
“Trish is the reason you don’t do relationships, isn’t she?” Beth asked.
“Yes. But you need to know I haven’t been living the life of a saint. There’ve been women, Beth. I’m not proud of the way I’ve used them in the last several years. I haven’t wanted to risk my heart until you.”
He didn’t realize what he’d said, and by then it was too late. Still, he didn’t regret that Beth knew how important she’d become to him in the last few weeks.
“Sam,” she whispered. “Oh Sam.”
Not kissing her wasn’t an option. Emotion filled him and the need to hold and love her nearly overwhelmed him. For the first time in memory, he felt free of the burden of his decision. Slipping his hand around the base of her neck, he brought her mouth to his. The kiss was warm and wet, urgent and needy on both their parts. It felt as if he was giving away a piece of his soul as he twisted his mouth over hers, wanting to give her everything he’d withheld from every woman he’d touched since the split with Trish.
Soon kissing her wasn’t enough. Not even close to being enough. He wanted more. Needed more. Standing, he wrapped his arm around Beth’s back, dragging her upright, all the while kissing her with a hunger and desire that nearly consumed him. He didn’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t given a small gasp of pain. In his desire, he’d forgotten her injuries.
Immediately Sam released his hold and buried his face in her neck. “Sorry, baby,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Beth wound her arms around his neck and held him close. Several moments passed before she spoke. “Thank you for telling me about her,” she whispered. He appreciated that she understood what it had taken for him to peel back the scab and reveal his wounded heart.
Only a chosen few knew about Lucinda. Not even his parents realized he had a daughter. Rocco had been his friend since just after high school and had lived through that emotional time with him. He hadn’t advised Sam, feeling the decision was his and his alone. When he told Rocco what he’d decided, his friend hadn’t said a word. None was necessary.
“I’m glad you know.”
He brushed the hair from the side of her face and tucked it behind her ear.
“Can I ask you something?” Beth said.
“Anything.” There was little he would withhold from her.
“Are we in a relationship?”
He grinned and kissed her temple. “You tell me. I text you first thing in the morning when I wake, I spend my lunch hour talking to you, and at night as soon as I’m off work I rush home and shower so I can spend as much time with you as possible before you’re too tired. That’s the closest thing I’ve had to a relationship in more years than I can remember.”
He felt her smile. “What about later, you know, after I’m out of here and back in my apartment?”
“What about it?” Although he asked the question, he’d wondered the same thing himself. He was eager to hear her thoughts. He would follow her lead. If she wanted to end it, while it would hurt, he’d walk away, no questions asked.
“Everything is bound to change,” she said.
“Probably,” he admitted.
“I won’t be here any longer.”
“Which is a good thing, right?”
“Right. Oh Sam, you have no idea how much I want to get back to my life again.”
“No, I don’t suppose I do.” Then it dawned on him that she might be trying to tell him something. “Does this mean …” He hesitated and then started again. “Are you saying you’d rather not see me once you’re out of rehab?”
“What?” she asked, and sounded shocked. “I’ll answer that question the same way you answered mine. You’re the first person I think about when I wake. I grab my phone and look for your text messages. I don’t eat lunch or take a nap until I’ve talked to you at noon, and then after my last physical therapy session I count the minutes until I see you at night. These last two evenings I felt empty when I sat at the piano because you weren’t with me. In fact, one of the aides said it sounded like I was playing for a funeral.”
Sam laughed and hugged her closer. “I’m crazy about you, Beth. Head-over-heels crazy. Yes, things will change when you’re back to your regular life, but the change will be for the better.”
“The better,” she repeated.
“We’ll figure everything out together.”
And they would. Sam was determined that they would.
Chapter 16
Beth
Soon after Sam told Beth about his daughter, she noticed a shift in him. His smile came easier and he seemed more lighthearted, teasing and joking with her. It was as if sharing his past had lifted a heaviness from his shoulders. He’d always been gentle with her, tender and caring. In the days after his late-night visit, his eyes shone bright and clear without the cynical gleam she’d noticed in him the first night they’d met. After their talk it seemed his cynicism disappeared altogether. It was as though sharing what had happened with his daughter had cracked the wall he’d built around his heart so that healing could begin.
She continued with the pool therapy, and just as Cassandra had promised, Beth made remarkable progress. Sam didn’t go into the water with her again, as it wasn’t necessary. She’d conquered her fear for the most part, and every day it got easier until she was forced to admit to actually enjoying her pool time.
The last week of her rehab Beth was walking steadily, leaning on a cane. She was due to be released at the end of the week and she couldn’t wait.
Her aunt came to visit early Tuesday morning. As soon as she walked into the room, she announced, “I’ve talked to the head of the facility and I’m taking you out this evening.”
“Out?” Beth had to wonder what her aunt had planned. “You mean out of the building?”
“Yes, love. What did you think I meant?”
“I don’t know.” Beth tensed as she mulled this over and realized she didn’t feel ready. “I don’t think I can …”
“You can and you will. Everything’s already been arranged. We’re going to dinner at a funky Mexican place I discovered that serves—”
“But Sam is expecting me to be here.” Thankfully, Beth had a good reason to refuse.
“Tell him you’ve got plans for the evening,” her aunt suggested, immediately dismissing her excuse.
Although she tried, Beth couldn’t think of a way to roadblock her aunt. It took her a few moments to realize how silly she was being. One would think she’d want to get away for a short while. It’d been a month since she’d last been anywhere. This was crazy. More than anything, she wanted to get back to her everyday life, teach her classes, get involved in the activities she’d only begun to do.
It was then that Beth had an epiphany. It came to her that the rehab center had become her safe place, a cocoon where she was comfortable and could hide from life. All her needs were met without her having to do much of anything. Worries, concerns, fears were on the other side of the glass door.
Lost in her thoughts, Beth took a moment to realize her aunt was talking to her. “You aren’t going to disappoint me, are you?”
“No, I’m not,” she said, gathering her resolve. “Sam will understand. It’s time to par-tee.”
Sunshine laughed and floated about the room. “You’ve been cooped up in here far too long. It’s time you got reintroduced to the world.”
“You’re right, it is.”
“It’s going to be fun,” her aunt promised, gripping hold of Beth’s hands and squeezing her palms together. “We’ll have fish tacos and tostadas and drink shots of tequila.”