Kendra felt terrible for Mrs. Price. She was certain it was some strange goblin magic that had led to the outburst, but that was an impossible theory to present to the principal. In the end, Kendra had to admit that she had not actually seen
Case put anything on the chair. Nor had anyone else, apparently.
They couldn't even find the tack. And of course she could not say anything about Case's secret identity, because there was no way to prove it short of convincing Mr. Ford to kiss him on the mouth.
Walking out to catch her bus, Kendra brooded over the unjust situation. The reputation of an innocent teacher had23 been ruined, and the obvious culprit was totally getting awaywith it. Thanks to his disguise, the goblin would keep on causing mayhem without any consequences. There had to be a way to stop him!
Ahem. A man walking beside Kendra cleared his throat in order to get her attention. Lost in thought, she had failed to notice his approach. The man was dressed in a fancy suit that looked about a hundred years out of style.
The coat had tails, and he wore a vest with it. It was the sort of suit Kendra would have expected to see in a play, not in real life.
Kendra stopped walking and faced the man. Kids heading for the buses passed them on either side. Can I help you? she asked.
Beg your pardon, but do you have the time?
His vest had a watch chain. Kendra pointed at it. Isn't that a watch?
Just the chain, my girl, he said, patting his vest. I
parted with the watch some time ago. He was fairly tall, with wavy black hair and a pointy chin. Although the suit was fancy, it was rumpled and worn, as if he had slept in it for several consecutive nights. He seemed a little seedy.
Kendra resolved immediately not to let him lure her into a windowless van.
She was wearing a watch, but did not check it. School just got out, so it's a little after two-forty.
Allow me to introduce myself. He held up a business24 card in his white-gloved hand, in a way that suggested hemeant for her to read it, not take it. The card said:
Errol Fisk
Cogitator * Ruminator*Innovator
Cogitator? Kendra read dubiously.
Errol glanced at the card and flipped it over.
Wrong side, he apologized with a smile.
The back side said:
Errol Fisk
StreetPerformer Extraordinaire
Now, that I believe, Kendra said.
He glanced at the card and, with a look of chagrin, flipped it over again.
I already --- Kendra began, but she hadn't.
Errol Fisk
Heaven's Special Gift to Women
Kendra laughed. What is this? Am I on a hidden camera show?
Errol checked the card. My apologies, Kendra, I could have sworn I tossed that one out long ago.
I haven't told you my name, Kendra said, suddenly on guard.
You didn't have to. You were the only one of these youngsters who looked fairystruck.
Fairystruck? Who was this guy?
I take it you've noticed an unwanted visitor in your school recently?25 Now he had her full attention. You know about thegoblin?
The kobold, actually, though the two are often confused.
He flipped the card again. It now read:
Errol Fisk
Kobold Exterminator
You can help me get rid of him? Kendra asked. Did my grandpa send you?
He did not. But a friend of his did.
At that moment, Seth came up to them, his backpack slung over one shoulder. Who's the ringmaster? he said to
Kendra.
Errol held the card up for Seth to see. What's a kobold? Seth patted Kendra on the shoulder. Hey, you're going to miss the bus. Kendra could tell he was trying to give her an opening to get away from the stranger.
I might be walking home today, Kendra said.
Four miles? Seth said.
Or I'll catch a ride with somebody. The goblin who kissed Alyssa and framed Mrs. Price is a kobold. She had told Seth about the disastrous incident at lunch. He was the one person who could understand the real story.
Oh, Seth said, sizing up Errol anew. I get it. I thought you were a salesman. You're a magician.
Errol fanned out a deck of playing cards that had appeared out of nowhere. Not a bad guess, he said. Pick a card.
Seth pulled out a card.27 Show it to your sister.Seth showed Kendra the five of hearts.
Put it back in the deck, Errol instructed.
Seth replaced it so that Errol could not see the face of the card. Errol flipped all the cards around, so they faced the kids, still fanned out. They were all the five of hearts. And there's your card, Errol announced.
That's the lamest trick ever! Seth protested. They're all the same. Of course you know what I picked.
All the same? Errol said, reversing the cards and thumbing through them. No, I'm sure you're mistaken. He turned them back around, and it now looked like a normal deck of fifty-two different cards.
Wow! Seth said.
Errol held the cards face down and fanned them out again. Name a card, he said.
Jack of clubs, Seth said.
Errol held the cards up. They were all the jack of clubs.
He flipped them over again. Kendra, name a card.
Ace of hearts.
Errol displayed an entire deck full of the ace of hearts.
Then he tucked the deck away into an inner pocket.
Whoa, you really are magic, Seth said.
Errol shook his head. It's just legerdemain. ,
Leger-what?
Legerdemain. A word of French origin meaning sleight of hand.
What, you've got a bunch of decks up your sleeve?
Seth asked.
Errol winked. Now you're on the right track.
You're good, Seth said. I was watching close.
Errol tweezed his business card between two fingers, folded it into his palm, and then immediately opened his hand. The card was gone. The hand is quicker than the eye.The buses started pulling out. They always left in a caravan of five. Oh no, Seth said. My bus!
I can give you kids a ride, Errol offered. Or I suppose calling you a cab might be more appropriate. My treat.
Either way, we need to talk about this kobold.
How did you find out about this so fast? Kendra asked suspiciously. The kobold only showed up yesterday. I just mailed my letter to Grandpa Sorenson this morning.
Cogent question, Errol said. Your grandfather has an old friend named Coulter Dixon who lives in the area. He asked Coulter to keep an eye on you two. When Coulter caught wind of the kobold, he called me. I'm a specialist.
So you know our grandpa? Seth asked.
Errol held up a finger. I know a friend of your grandpa's.
I've never actually met Stan.
Why do you wear that weird suit? Seth asked.
Because I'm terribly fond of it.
Why are you wearing gloves? Seth pursued. It's hot out.
Errol glanced furtively over his shoulder, as if he was about to share a secret. Because my hands are made of pure gold and I'm worried somebody will steal them.
Seth's eyes widened. Really?28 No. But remember the principle. Sometimes the mostpreposterous lies are the most believable. He tugged off a glove and flexed his fingers, revealing a normal hand with black hairs on the knuckles. A street magician needs places to hide things. Gloves serve that purpose. Same with a coat on a warm day. And a vest with lots of pockets. And a wristwatch or two. He pulled back his sleeve, revealing a pair of watches.
You asked me for the time, Kendra said.
Sorry, I needed an opener. I have three watches. A
watch can be a great place to hide a coin. Errol squeezed his wrist and then held up a silver dollar. He put his glove back on, and the coin vanished in the process.
So you do have a pocket watch, Kendra said.
Errol held up the empty chain. Sadly, no, that was true. I
Pawn shop. I needed to buy combs for my girlfriend.
Kendra smiled, getting the reference. Errol did not explain it to Seth. So, do I pass inspection? he asked.
Kendra and Seth looked at each other. If you get rid of the kobold, Kendra said, I'll believe anything you say.
Errol looked a little concerned. Well, see, the thing is,
I'm going to need your help to do it, so we're going to need to trust one another. You could call your grandpa, and he could tell you about Coulter, at least. And then he could get in touch with Coulter, who would tell him about me. Or maybe Coulter has already contacted him. For now, consider this-your grandfather has hardly told a soul that you were fairystruck, and I am certain he urged you to keep that information private as well. Yet I am privy to that knowledge.28 29What do you mean by fairystruck? Kendra asked.That the fairies shared their magic with you. That you can see whimsical creatures without assistance.
You can see them too? Seth asked.
Sure, if I use my eyedrops. But your sister can see them all the time. I got that information directly from Coulter.
Okay, Kendra said. We'll check with our grandpa, but until we hear back, we'll trust that you're here to help.
Fabulous. Errol tapped his temple. I'm already hatching a plan. What are the chances of you two sneaking out tomorrow night?
Kendra winced. That's going to be tough. I have finals the next day.
Whatever, Seth said, rolling his eyes. We'll pretend to go to bed early and slip out the window. Would it work to meet around nine?
Nine would be nearly perfect, Errol said. Where should we rendezvous?
You know the service station on the corner of Culross and Oakley? Seth suggested.
I'll find it, Errol said.
What if Mom and Dad notice we're missing? Kendra said.
Which would you rather do: risk getting grounded, or keep putting up with your ugly friend? Seth asked.
Seth was right. It was a no-brainer.30Extermination Procedures
The sky was nearly dark when Kendra and Seth entered the service station's convenience store. Inside, one of the fluorescent bulbs was flickering, interrupting the harsh, even glow. Seth fingered a candy bar. Kendra turned around in a circle. Where is he? We're almost ten minutes late.
Play it cool, Seth said. He'll be here.
You're not in a spy movie, Kendra reminded him.
Seth picked up the candy bar, closed his eyes, and smelled it from end to end. Nope. This is the real thing.
Kendra noticed the headlights of a battered Volkswagen van flashing in the parking lot. Maybe you're right, she said, approaching the window. The lights flashed again.
Squinting, she saw Errol behind the wheel. He motioned her over.
Kendra and Seth crossed the parking lot to the van.31 Are we really going to drive away with him in that thing?Kendra mumbled.
Depends on how badly you want to get rid of the kobold, Seth replied.
The creature had not caused any new commotion that day at school, although he had taunted Kendra with several knowing looks. The horrid imposter was reveling in his victory.
He kept hanging around with her friends, and there was nothing she could do about it. Who knew what his next act of sabotage might be?
Kendra had continued to try to reach Grandpa Sorenson, and had repeatedly gotten the recorded message that the call could not be completed as dialed. Had he stopped paying his phone bill? Maybe he had switched telephone numbers?
Whatever the cause, she had still not been able to speak with him to confirm whether Errol could be trusted.
Errol leaned across the van and pushed the door open.
Once again he was wearing his rumpled, antiquated suit.
Kendra and Seth climbed inside. Seth shut the door behind them. The motor was already running.
Here we are, Kendra said. If you're going to kidnap us, tell me now. I can't handle the suspense.
Errol put the van into gear and pulled out of the service station onto Culross Drive. I'm really here to help you,
Errol said. Although, if I had kids, I'm not sure I would want them climbing into a vehicle late at night with a man they'd just met, no matter what story he told them. But do not fret,
I'll deliver you safe and sound to your home before long.32 Errol turned onto a different street. Where are wegoing? Seth asked.
Nasty vermin, kobolds, very tenacious, Errol said. We need to get something that will enable us to drive the interloper away permanently. We are going to steal a rare item from a wicked and dangerous man.
Seth leaned forward on the edge of his seat. Kendra leaned back with her arms folded. I thought you said you were a kobold exterminator, Kendra said. Don't you have your own gear?
I have expertise, Errol said, turning onto a new street.
Exterminating a kobold is a trifle more complicated than spraying your yard with chemicals. Each situation is unique and demands improvisation. Be glad that I know where to get what we need.
They rode in silence for a few miles. Then Errol pulled off to the side of the road and switched off his lights. We're already here? Seth asked.
Fortunately, what we need is close by, Errol said. He indicated a stately building half a block down the road. A
sign out front read:
MANGUM
FUNERAL HOME
SINCE 195533 We're going to break into a mortuary? Kendra asked.Are we going to steal a body? Seth said, sounding too eager for Kendra's liking.
Nothing so morbid, Errol assured them. The owner of the mortuary, Archibald Mangum, lives on the premises. He owns a stylized figurine in the likeness of a toad. We can use the figurine to drive away the kobold.
He wouldn't just lend it to us? Kendra asked.
Errol smiled. Archibald Mangum is not a kind man. In fact, he is not a man at all. He is a vampiric abomination.
He's a vampire? Seth asked.
Errol cocked his head. Strictly speaking, I have never encountered an actual vampire. Not like you see in the movies, turning into bats and hiding from the sun. But certain orders of beings are vampiric in nature. These beings are probably where the notion of vampires originated.
So what exactly is Archibald? Kendra pressed.
Hard to say for certain. Most likely a member of the blix family. He might be a lectoblix, a species that ages swiftly and must drain the youth of others to survive. Or a narcoblix, a fiend capable of exerting control over victims while they are asleep. But given his residence, my best guess would be that he's a viviblix, a being with the power to temporarily reanimate the dead. Like the vampires of legend, blixes connect with their victims through a bite. All varieties of blixes are highly uncommon, and here you are, with one just a few miles from your home!