And you want us to break into his mortuary! Kendra said.34 My dear, Errol said. Archibald is away. I wouldn'tdream of sending you anywhere near his funeral home if it were otherwise. It would be far too perilous.
Will he have zombie guards? Seth asked.
Errol spread his gloved hands. If he is a viviblix, there may be a few reanimated corpses about. Nothing we can't handle.
There has to be some other way to deal with the kobold, Kendra muttered nervously.
None that I know of, Errol said. Archibald will return tomorrow. After that, we can forget about procuring the figurine.
The three of them sat in silence, looking down the street at the gloomy windows of the funeral home. It was an old style mansion with a covered porch, a circular driveway, and a large garage. The lighted sign out front provided the only illumination besides the moonlight.
At last Kendra broke the silence. I don't feel good about this.
Oh, toughen up, Seth said. It won't be so bad.
I'm glad to hear you say that, Seth, Errol said. Because you will have to go into the house alone.
Seth swallowed. You're not coming with us?
Nor Kendra, Errol said. You're not yet fourteen, correct?
Right, Seth said.
Protective spells guarding the home will prevent anybody over the age of thirteen from entering, Errol explained. But they neglected to make it childproof.35 Why not protect it from everybody? Kendra asked.The young enjoy an innate immunity to many such spells, Errol said. Creating enchantments to divert children requires greater skill than erecting barriers to foil adults.
Almost no magic works on children under the age of eight.
The natural immunity diminishes as they age.
For the first time since entering the van, Kendra was amused. Seth looked as sober as she had ever seen him. No matter what the circumstances, it was always a pleasure to see him have to eat his words. He shifted in his seat and glanced at her.
Okay, well, what do I do? he said. The bravado had faded.
Seth, don't- Kendra began.
No, he said, holding up his hand. Leave the dirty work to me. Just tell me what to do.
Errol unscrewed the cap of a small bottle. An eyedropper was attached to the cap. First, we need to sharpen your vision. These drops will work like the milk you drank at
Fablehaven. Tilt your head back.
Seth obeyed. Errol leaned forward, placed a finger under
Seth's right eyelid to pull it down, and squeezed out a drop.
Blinking wildly, Seth recoiled. Whoa! Seth complained.
What is that, hot sauce?
It tingles a little, Errol said.
It burns like acid! Seth wiped tears from the afflicted eye.
Other eye, Errol said.
Don't you have any milk?36 Sorry, fresh out. Hold still, it will only take a second.So would branding my tongue!
Isn't the first eye already feeling better? Errol inquired.
I guess so. Maybe I can just look out of one eye.
I can't send you in there blind to the dangers you might face, Errol said.
Here, let me do it. Seth accepted the eyedropper from
Errol. With his untreated eye squinted almost shut, Seth put a drop on the eyelashes. Blinking, he grimaced and growled.
Of course, the one person who doesn't need these is too old to help out.
Kendra shrugged.
I use the drops every morning, Errol said. You get accustomed to it.
Maybe after your nerves die, Seth said, brushing more tears away. What now?
Errol held up an empty hand. His fingers fluttered, and a garage-door opener materialized. Enter through the garage, Errol said. You will probably find the door from the garage to the house unlocked. If not, force it open. Once inside, to the left of the door, on the wall you will see a keypad.
On top of the protective charms, the funeral home has a conventional security system. Press 7109 and then hit enter.
7109 enter, Seth echoed.
How do you know that? Kendra asked.
The same way I know Archibald is gone, Errol replied.
Reconnaissance. I wouldn't send Seth in there unprepared.37 What do you think I've been doing since I first contactedYou.
How do I find the statue? Seth asked.
My best guess would be down in the basement. Access it by the elevator adjoining the viewing room. If you turn right after entering, you can't miss it. You'll be looking for a toadlike statue not much bigger than my fist. Very likely in plain view. Look in off-limits areas. When you find the figurine, feed it this. Errol held up a dog biscuit shaped like a bone.
Feed the statue? Seth questioned doubtfully.
Until you feed it, the figurine will be immovable. Feed the statuette, pick it up, bring it to us, and I will drive you home. Errol handed Seth the garage-door opener and the dog biscuit. He also gave him a small flashlight, with the warning to use it only if necessary.
We haven't covered what I do if I run into the living dead, Seth reminded Errol.
You run, Errol said. Reanimated corpses are not particularly swift or nimble. You won't have trouble staying ahead of them. But don't take any chances. If you encounter any undead adversaries, statue or no statue, retreat to the van.Seth nodded gravely. So just run, huh? He did not sound fully satisfied with the plan.
I doubt you'll have any trouble, Errol reassured him.
I've scouted this location thoroughly, and there has been no hint of undead activity. Should be a snap. In and out.
You don't have to do this, Kendra said.38 Don't worry, I won't blame you if my brain gets eaten,Seth said. He opened the door and hopped out. Although I
can't help it if you blame yourself.
Seth jogged across the street and walked toward the lighted sign. A few cars came down the road toward him, and he averted his eyes from the bright headlights until they passed. On his way to the mortuary, Seth passed a small house that had been converted into a barber shop, and then a larger one that housed dental offices.
Even though he knew Kendra and Errol were close by, facing the forbidding mortuary was a lonely feeling.
Glancing back at the Volkswagen van, Seth could not see the occupants inside. He knew they could see him, though, so he tried to look relaxed.
Beyond the illuminated sign at the edge of the yard was a neatly trimmed lawn bordered by tidily rounded hedges that came no higher than his knees. Large potted plants crowded the shadowy porch. Three balconies with low railings projected from the upper story. All the windows were dark and shuttered. A pair of cupolas crowned the mansion, along with several chimneys. Even forgetting the dead bodies inside, the house looked haunted.
Seth considered turning back. Going into the funeral home with Errol and Kendra had sounded like an adventure.
Going inside alone felt like suicide. He could probably stomach a spooky house full of dead bodies. But he had seen amazing things at Fablehaven-fairies and imps and monsters.
He knew such things really existed, and so he knew there was a serious possibility that he was walking into an39 actual zombie lair, presided over by a real-life vampire(regardless of what Errol called him).
Seth fidgeted with the garage-door opener. Did he really care this much about getting rid of the kobold? If Errol was such a pro, why was he having kids do his dirty work?
Shouldn't somebody with more experience tackle this sort of problem, instead of a sixth-grader?
If he had been unaccompanied, Seth probably would have walked away. The kobold alone was just not worth it.
But people were watching, expecting him to do this, and pride would not allow him to wimp out. He had followed through on some intimidating dares-going down steep hills on his bike, fighting a kid two grades older, eating live insects. He had almost died climbing an escalating series of wooden poles. Yet this was the worst so far, because going into a zombie lair alone not only meant you could die, it meant you could die in a really upsetting way.
No cars were coming down the road. Pressing the button on the garage-door opener, Seth hustled across the driveway. The door opened loudly. It made him feel conspicuous, but he told himself that anybody who saw a person going into a garage would not think twice about it. Of course, any zombies inside the mortuary now knew he had arrived.
An automatic light brightened the garage. The black, curtained hearse did little to make the mansion feel more cheery. Neither did the assemblage of taxidermic animals positioned on a workbench along one wall: a possum, a40 raccoon, a fox, a beaver, an otter, an owl, a falcon-and, inthe corner, a huge black bear standing upright.
Seth entered the garage and tapped the button again.
The garage door shut with a prolonged mechanical groan.
He hurried to the door that would lead into the funeral home. The knob turned, and Seth eased the door open. He heard an immediate beeping. Light from the garage spilled into a hallway.
To the left of the door was a keypad, exactly where Errol had described. Seth punched in 7109 and hit enter. The beeping stopped. And the growling started.
Seth whipped around. The door was still open, and light from the garage revealed a mass of white dreadlocks approaching down the carpeted hall. At first Seth thought it was a monster. Then he realized it was a huge dog with such thick cords of fur that one of its ancestors must have been a mop. Seth did not know how the animal could see, it had so much hair dangling in its eyes. The growls continued rumbling, deep and steady, the kind of sound that meant at any second the dog might make a violent charge.
Seth had to reach a quick decision. He could probably leap out the door and shut it behind him before the dog reached him. But that would be the end of going after the statue. Maybe it would serve Errol right, for carrying out such lousy reconnaissance.
Then again, he was holding a dog biscuit. Surely the statue would not need the whole thing. Sit, Seth commanded, calmly but firmly, extending his hand palm outward.41 The dog grew silent and stopped advancing.That's a good dog, Seth said, trying to exude confidence.
He had heard that dogs could sense fear. Now sit, he ordered, repeating the gesture.
The dog sat, its shaggy head higher than Seth's waist.
Seth snapped the biscuit in two and tossed half to the dog.
The canine caught the biscuit on the fly. Seth had no idea how it saw the treat coming through all that fur.
Seth approached the dog and let it sniff his hand. A
warm tongue caressed his palm, and Seth rubbed the top of the animal's head. You're a good boy, Seth said in his special voice reserved for babies and animals. You're not going to eat me, right?
The automatic light in the garage switched off, plunging the hall into darkness. The only glow came from a tiny green bulb on the security keypad, so faint that it was useless. Seth remembered the shutters covering the windows. Even moonlight and the light from the sign could not penetrate the house. Well, that probably meant that people on the outside would not notice his flashlight, and he could not risk zombies sneaking up on him in the blackness, so he turned it on.
Once again he could see the dog and the hall. Seth moved down the hall to a large room with plush carpeting and heavy drapes. He swung the beam of his flashlight around, checking for zombies. Several couches and armchairs and a few tall lamps lined the perimeter of the room.
The center of the room was empty, apparently so mourners could mingle. There was a place on one side where Seth figured they laid the casket for people to view the deceased. He42 had visited a room not too different from this one when hisGrandma and Grandpa Larsen had died just over a year ago.
Several doors led out of the room. The word Chapel was written above a set of double doors. Some other doors were unmarked. A brass gate blocked access to an elevator. A sign above it announced, Authorized Personnel Only.
The dog followed Seth as he crossed the room to the elevator.
When Seth pushed the gate sideways, it collapsed like an accordion. Seth entered the elevator and shut the gate, preventing the dog from following. Black buttons projected from the wall, looking very old-fashioned. The floor buttons were marked B, 1, and 2. Seth pushed B.
The elevator lurched downward, rattling enough that
Seth wondered if it was about to break. Through the gate
Seth could see the wall of the elevator shaft scrolling by.
Then the wall of the shaft disappeared. With a final squeal the ride came to an abrupt halt.
Without opening the gate, and keeping one hand near the elevator buttons, Seth shone the flashlight around the room. The last thing he wanted was to get cornered by zombies inside of an elevator.
It appeared to be the room where the bodies were prepared.
It was much less fancy than the parlor above. He saw a worktable, and a table with wheels that had a casket on it.
There were multiple storage cabinets and a big sink. Seth estimated that the casket would barely fit inside the elevator.
One side of the room had what appeared to be a large refrigeration unit. He tried not to dwell upon what was kept in there.43 He saw no statues, toadlike or otherwise. There was adoor marked Private on the wall opposite the elevator.
Satisfied that the room was zombie-free, Seth slid the gate open. He stepped out, tense, ready to leap back into the elevator at the slightest provocation.
The room remained silent. Walking between the worktable and the casket, Seth tried the private door. It was locked. The knob had a keyhole.
The door looked neither particularly strong nor unusually flimsy. It was built to open into the next room. Seth tried kicking it near the knob. It shuddered a bit. He tried a few more times, but, despite the repeated shuddering, the door showed no sign of weakening.
Seth supposed he could use the wheeled table to ram the door with the casket. But he doubted he could generate enough speed to strike the door much harder than he could kick it. And he could picture knocking the casket off the table and creating a huge mess. The casket might not be empty!
Another door, this one unmarked, also led out of the room. It was against the same wall as the elevator, so Seth had not seen it until after he had stepped into the room.
Seth found that door unlocked. Behind it was a bare hall with doors along one side and an open doorway at the end.