For me, English Lit was what I loved. By far, my best subject in school.
“Ms. Day?” Mr. Saunders called my name and I rose from my desk to go to the front to claim my test. He held it out to me. “Have to say, I was disappointed.”
I looked down at it.
A bright red “F” stared back at me.
There wasn’t even a plus sign involved.
There had to be a mistake. “I got a—an F?”
“Maybe next time you should read your assignment. Just a suggestion.” He looked past me. “Mr. Edwards?”
With that, I was dismissed. With the first F I’d ever gotten in my life. For an essay on a book I’d already read. And loved.
This couldn’t be happening. I tried to rationalize it, but failed.
Yeah, failed. I failed. Big time.
I sat down heavily in my seat, still staring at the mark.
“It’s only one stupid test,” Colin offered from behind me. Of course he’d seen the grade. It was impossible to miss. An airplane would be able to spot an F that big and red.
But it wasn’t just a test, it was a sign. The balance I’d hoped to regain by coming to school today, to get back to where I belonged and felt like I fit in...
Fail.
I tried to concentrate, but it wasn’t an easy task. With Colin behind me, almost in the orbit of hunger. With others moving past my desk. With the bitter taste of the bad grade in my mouth...it all fell apart.
At nine forty-five, my hunger ramped up from a low and controllable level to a burst right off the charts.
It closed in all around me, stealing my breath, clenching my stomach.
It was no longer a question of “if” I’d feed, but “when.”
I needed to get out of there as fast as I could.
Scrambling to grab my books and my leather bag, I rushed out of my seat toward the front of class, toward the door, toward escape.
“Ms. Day?” Mr. Saunders looked at me as I zipped past him. “Where are you going? There’s still fifteen minutes left in class.”
“Cramps!” I announced shakily. “Horrible, nasty menstrual cramps! I need to go!”
He grimaced and waved a hand, while some of the kids in the front row snickered. “Then go.”
I escaped to the bliss of the empty hallway, headed toward my locker, no longer tormented by the thirty souls pressing in on me. I needed a few minutes to get my head back together. To think clearly again.
“Samantha!” Colin called after me.
Oh, crap!
I searched the long hallway, looking for the best route to make my escape. My heels clicked against the shiny linoleum. I needed air. I needed to get out of there completely. I needed to finally accept that my life was not what it used to be while I tried to pretend that it was, even for a couple of fleeting hours here today.
I’d been fooling myself.
I didn’t belong here in my so-called “normal” life. And I didn’t belong with Bishop and the others.
I was an outcast.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and kept walking toward the nearest exit.
“Sam!” Colin grabbed my arm to bring me to a halt. “What’s wrong?”
I turned to face him and shoved him hard against his chest to push him away from me. “Stay back.”
He had the nerve to look at me with concern. And here I thought he hated me. I wished that were true. “The look on your face when you left class... I was worried.”
“I have cramps,” I offered weakly.
“Which is really gross, but I don’t think it’s the truth. You’re upset about something.”
I hissed out a breath, studying his face as he, again, was stupid enough to come closer to me. My hunger swirled, a raging tornado inside of me ready to take down trailer parks and wreak havoc with anything that got in its path.
“You hate me,” I reminded him. “I hurt you.”
“What happened to Julie made me realize something—life is too short. I can’t hold a grudge. I know you don’t like me, not like I like you. But we’re friends, still, right? You’re my friend no matter what happens.”
“You followed me from class. You always do that.”
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” His breathing had increased. He’d taken hold of my arm again. Despite his words of understanding, there was something in his gaze...something lost.
I knew what it was. A gray’s victim sought the gray who’d kissed him. It was an unavoidable trap. Even my harshest, coldest words wouldn’t be enough to keep him away from me forever.
I looked down at where he clutched my arm. “When will you ever learn, Colin?”
“I know you don’t mean to hurt me. Just like with Julie—I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
His scent was too much to bear. I couldn’t deal with this. I needed to go.
“Colin...”
He took hold of my other arm. “Just give me a chance, Sam. One chance. I think I’ll go crazy if you never kiss me again. Please. Just once. One kiss.”
“Fine,” I whispered.
Then I pushed him up against the lockers and crushed my mouth against his.
Chapter 19
I’d lost the fight a minute ago, but hadn’t realized it till now.
No, that was wrong. What was I saying? I felt it. I knew this was coming from the moment he followed me out of class.
He asked for this. He wanted it. Even now he groaned against my lips as I began to feed on his soul.