I risked a glance at him, and still saw no sign of annoyance or frustration on his face.
Then—totally against my will, I swear—my eyes darted downward, and I could see that, while he wasn’t acting angry or anything, he was still real eager for my no to change to a yes. Naturally, I looked away quickly, but my face heated with yet another blush.
In one of her sober moments, when my mom had insisted we have “the talk” despite the fact that I’d known about the birds and the bees practically forever, she’d warned me that boys like to claim they are in dire pain when they are that excited and you don’t put out. Since I was sure Ethan had noticed the direction of my gaze, and he’d have to be blind not to see how hard I was blushing, I thought now would be the perfect time for him to start laying on a guilt trip. But he didn’t.
Ethan laughed, but it was a warm, friendly sound with no hint of mockery in it. “It won’t kill me,” he said. “And remember, I promised I wasn’t going to take advantage of you. I keep my promises. All I wanted was to kiss you.”
“Really?” I asked, and I’m sure I sounded as incredulous as I felt. I glanced at him through my eyelashes.
“Why would you find that so hard to believe?”
“Well, uh. You’re … uh, older than me. And, uh…” Oh God, please kill me now. I didn’t want to be having this conversation, and I surely didn’t want to be making such a fool of myself. But my brain hadn’t recovered from its earlier shutdown, and I couldn’t seem to get a coherent sentence out of my mouth.
Ethan put me out of my misery by saying what I’d been too prudish to say. “Just because I’m not a virgin doesn’t mean kissing has become only a means to an end. Believe it or not, I actually find it’s nice all by itself.” He gave me one of those sexy, quirky grins of his, and it made my insides flutter.
“So all you want is a kiss?” I asked. A little voice in my head said I was heading for one of those slippery slopes. I told the little voice to shut up.
“Well, maybe more than one. But basically, yeah.”
Still, I hesitated.
“Look,” he said, “if I try to push you to do something you don’t want, you’ll balk, and then you’ll never trust me again. I’m not going to risk that.”
My shoulders sagged a bit. It got real tiring, being on the defensive all the time, always keeping my eyes open for potential threats. I’d had to do it for as long as I could remember, because there was no way I could trust my mom to protect us. I was sick of it, and part of the reason I’d come to Avalon was to try to get away from that constant, ponderous weight of responsibility. So to hell with Kimber’s warnings, and to hell with my own misgivings!
I raised my chin and made myself look straight into Ethan’s eyes as if I had all the courage in the world. “All right.”
I didn’t sit on Ethan’s lap this time, just sidled up beside him and offered up my mouth. When his lips touched mine, I felt a jolt, kind of like an electric shock that ran all through my body, from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, and suddenly it was surprisingly easy to stop thinking and just feel.
He teased me with gentle kisses, and I gasped with pleasure. He didn’t have to urge me to open my mouth this time, and his tongue darted in for a taste. Another jolt of that delicious electricity flowed through me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, delighting in the taste and feel of him. My limbs felt all tingly, and it was like a layer of fog shrouded my head.
I breathed in Ethan’s scent, relished the warmth of his body, devoured his cherry-tasting kisses, and my common sense didn’t have a thing to say about it. Somehow, I ended up lying down on the cot, my head on the pillow while Ethan bent over me, his chest against mine. In a distant corner of my mind, I noticed his weight was pressing the cameo into my skin, and that it was once again strangely warm. Then he started stroking up and down my side over my shirt, and I stopped thinking at all. He was keeping his distance from anything … sensitive, but my body was fully aware of the possibilities. If my mouth hadn’t been otherwise occupied, I might have asked him to break his word.
His tongue began to slide in and out of my mouth in a suggestive rhythm that actually made me groan. My every nerve ending tingled, and warmth gathered in my center, and it felt so, so good. …
Like I said, I wasn’t really thinking, and my head was foggy at best, but I guess on some subconscious level, my guard never goes down completely. The tingling, the warmth, the foggy head … they all reminded me of something. They reminded me of how I’d felt when I’d drunk Kimber’s extra-strong posset.
The realization was like a splash of cold water, and the fog dissipated like it had never been there. There was most definitely something wrong with this picture. I couldn’t have gone from the bundle of raw nerves I’d been a few moments ago to this relaxed, comfortable, sensual woman I was now. Not without some outside help, that is. I pushed on Ethan’s chest, and was relieved that he actually stopped. My breath came short, and my pulse was still rocketing, but I knew for sure Ethan had done something. Other than kiss me, that is.
“What did you do to me?” I demanded, struggling to sit up.
Ethan didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t know what I meant. “Take it easy,” he said. “It was just a little spell to help you relax.”
I was on my feet moments later, staring at Ethan in absolute horror. “You mean you have some kind of a roofie spell?” I cried. Humiliation heated my face, made me want to curl up in a ball and die. Could I be any more naive? Why hadn’t I listened to Kimber?