He frowned, like he was actually surprised by my reaction. “No. Nothing like that.” He stood up and took a step toward me.
I didn’t think then. I just reacted with all the hurt and fury and, yes, fear in my body. When he reached for me, I jerked my knee up, and I got him just where it hurt most. He doubled over, clutching his privates. Shaking with delayed reaction, I grabbed the kerosene lamp and dashed out into the tunnel, hoping against hope that my sense of direction for once wouldn’t fail me.
chapter thirteen
Tears flowed down my cheeks as I ran, trying to keep count of the tunnels as I passed so I’d turn down the right one, while also trying to put as much distance as possible between me and that horrible room before Ethan recovered. I didn’t even bother dashing the tears away, just kept running until my lungs begged for oxygen and the muscles in my legs burned. I made the two turns that should then put me on a path straight to civilization, but I saw no sign of the nightclub and the stairway to the surface, nor did I hear the distant echo of voices. I kept running, hoping I’d just misjudged the distance, but there was still nothing. I tried doubling back to see if I’d made a wrong turn, but I’d lost track of how far I’d come and only ended up getting myself more confused.
Panic flickered at the edges of my mind as I realized I was now officially lost. I kept running, trying to retrace my steps, trying to keep moving so I wouldn’t have to face the panic that continued to build in my brain.
Eventually, I had to stop, exhaustion winning out over horror. I collapsed to the tunnel floor and sucked in great gulps of air, so winded that for a moment I thought I was going to throw up.
That nightclub was down here somewhere, and it couldn’t be all that far away, I told myself. Plus, Ethan had mentioned there were other populated areas down here. Even if I couldn’t find the nightclub, I should eventually be able to find some sign of civilization. Just because I was lost didn’t mean I was going to die, no matter how … alarming it was.
With a groan, I forced myself to my feet. I was so tired and wrung out I didn’t know how I could face the seemingly impossible task of getting myself out of here. But it wasn’t like I had much of a choice. I glanced at the lantern and shuddered to realize the kerosene wouldn’t last forever.
I trudged for what seemed like miles, trying to keep going in a straight line on the assumption that if I kept going straight, eventually I’d get to the other side of the mountain and there’d be an exit. But whenever I started to feel like I was making progress, the tunnel would dead end, or take a sudden, sharp turn. For all I knew, I was going in circles.
My feet and legs ached, and the kerosene was looking dangerously low, and I was so scared I could barely function. I stopped in the middle of a corridor that looked just like all the others, and I sat with my back against the wall, giving myself a minute or two of precious rest before I hurled myself back out into the darkness again.
I drew my knees up to my chest and let my head rest against them. I figured crying would be a reasonable thing to do right about now, but my eyes remained dry. I’d hit a kind of emotional overload, and I felt numb and listless.
“Can you forgive me enough to let me get you out of here?” Ethan asked, and at first I assumed I’d inadvertently drifted off to sleep.
I lifted my head, and there he was, about ten feet away from me, sitting with his back to the wall just like I was. He had a flashlight in his hand, and he barely resembled the cocky, cheerful Fae I’d come to know. His shoulders were slumped, his head bowed, the expression on his face bleak.
Obviously, I had to be dreaming, one of those wishful-thinking dreams. Though I had to admit, it felt awfully real. “This has to be a dream,” I mumbled out loud. “There’s no way you could have found me.”
“Not if I’d lost you in the first place,” he said, fidgeting with the flashlight, turning it round and round in his hands. “I run fast, and you were carrying a light, so I was able to catch up with you before you got too far away. I figured you needed time to cool off, so I kept my distance until now.”
You mean you kept your distance until you were sure I knew I couldn’t get out of here by myself, I thought but didn’t say. I decided this wasn’t a dream after all, but I had approximately zero desire to talk to Ethan right now, so I just stared at him coldly.
The cold stare might have been more effective if he were actually looking at me, but he was still fascinated with that flashlight.
“The spell didn’t take away your free will, Dana,” he said to the flashlight. “If it had, then you wouldn’t have been able to snap out of it. It was just a simple calming spell. It’s not like it made you do something you hadn’t already agreed to.”
“Okay,” I said, forgetting my plan not to speak to him, “so instead of it being like a roofie, it’s kind of like getting your date drunk in hopes that you’ll get lucky.”
His head snapped up, and he looked at me for the first time. “It’s not that either!” he said, and there was some heat in his words. That seemed to embarrass him, and he looked away again. His voice softened. “I just thought you’d enjoy it more if you weren’t so nervous. I get that it was a stupid thing to do. But there wasn’t any malice in it, and I had no intention of taking advantage of you. I’m sorry I was an idiot.”
My breath whooshed out on a sigh. He looked so dejected it was hard to doubt that he meant what he said. But I wasn’t even close to ready to forgive him yet. “You remember how you said if you tried anything, I’d never trust you again? Well, as far as I’m concerned, you tried something. And I don’t trust you.”