She was stiff, but with my words she slowly eased and relaxed. Her body molded against mine. “I think fate sometimes can be cruel,” she whispered against my chest.
“I won’t let fate hurt you. I swear.”
Beulah
I HAD BEEN IN THIS room many times to clean it. Now I stood in Jasper’s massive bathroom with a towel around me after taking a bath and looked at myself in the mirror. Was I making a mistake? He was drunk. I could smell the whiskey on his breath. But he’d also been very serious. He hadn’t tried anything. He had said words, such beautiful words. Words that a drunk mind doesn’t just make up, right?
“You okay in there?” his voice came from his bedroom. He wasn’t passed out. He was waiting on me.
“Yes.”
He didn’t say more. I slipped on my pink pajamas and looked at myself one last time in the mirror. My ratty pajamas weren’t exactly something a woman wore to attract a man. But we were just sleeping . . . in his bed . . . together. I should have said no. I should have gone to my room.
But I wanted this. Jasper. Us.
This was a gamble. Maybe the biggest of my life. I couldn’t let Heidi be affected though. If he changed his mind would I lose my jobs? Could I let my heart guide me when I had a sister to take care of?
I opened the door and was going to tell him my concerns. My worries. Because he needed to understand how this was more than me taking a chance. I had much more at stake than my heart. I was barely through the door, and he was there. In front of me. His body was warm and his hands cupped my face. Those eyes of his that had been breathtaking the first time I saw him study me. They were open. Clear. I could see the raw emotion in them. This was a chance for him too. One that obviously scared him.
I started to ask why when his mouth covered mine and he pressed me back against the door I’d just walked out of. I’d never been kissed quite like this. It was heady and delicious. The taste of the whiskey he’d drunk was dark and wicked. I closed my eyes, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I forgot everything I’d been worried about, and soaked in the smell of him. I reveled at the way his body made mine tingle with excitement.
Our tongues danced and our breath mingled in the dark room lit only by the moonlight streaming through the windows. I was hidden here. We were alone, and my body was humming with need. A need that demanded more. I pressed closer to him. My fingers laced through his hair and he made a low sound that vibrated his chest.
His mouth left mine and trailed kisses down my neck, then my feet were off the ground. I was in his arms as he walked the distance to his bed and laid me down gently. His shirt was off in an instant, and all he wore was a pair of shorts that hung loosely on his hips. He was beautiful. I lifted my eyes to his as he moved over me, caging me in. The softness of the bed was under me, and his hard, chiseled body was on top.
My back arched as his tongue traced my collarbone. Jasper unbuttoned my top just enough that he could kiss to the tops of my breasts. Then he looked up and into my eyes. His eyes burned as brightly as my body. “I won’t do more. I’ll go slow. I’ll be sober when I’m inside you. But I just want to taste, to feel a little.”
The idea of him being inside me caused me to shiver. My body felt a tightness of anticipation. But I wanted him sober too. “Okay,” I said breathlessly.
He rested his head on my shoulder then lowered his body until I could feel the hardness of his arousal between my legs. We were separated by clothing but the pressure made me squirm.
“Feel good?” he asked, his voice a dark whisper in my ear.
“Yes,” I admitted. There was no denying I wanted this.
He pressed and rocked against me and on impulse I grabbed his arms and moved with him. The friction from his body felt better than the actual one experience I’d had with sex. Then I’d been nervous and scared. Unsure. Now I ached with the tease of real pleasure. This was Jasper. I loved him. Maybe that was the difference.
His breath was hot against my neck as his hand slid down my body, over my hips and down to my thigh to pull my leg up high against his hip. He continued working his body against mine and the deep sound of his groan almost made me climax.
“I want inside you so fucking bad,” he said. His face was buried in my hair. His breathing becoming as erratic as mine. “I’ve got to stop. But I want you to come for me. Can I make you come for me?”
If I didn’t come, I might explode. I nodded my head because I couldn’t say words. Not at that moment.
He moved off me, and I started to grab him to bring him back. But his hand slipped under my pajama bottoms and he lifted his head until his eyes locked with mine. My body went still and I could barely breath. I began to pant as he eased his hand under the silk of my panties until his fingers slid between the wetness of my folds. My body took over then, and I jerked in response.
“Fuck, you’re soaking,” he said, his eyes dark as he watched me. He entered me then. One finger at first, then two. Slowly pumping to delay the build. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My head fell back, and my body took over, climbing toward that pleasure it knew was coming. I grabbed at his chest, my nails raking down. His mouth hoovered over my neck as his tongue flicked at my heated skin.
“Please,” I begged because I had to get there. I needed him to go faster. Harder.
“Enjoy it,” he said as he pressed deeper. I began to tremble as he held back from pushing me over the edge. My head tossed back and forth against the pillow and I cried out as the clawing need inside me grew.
Just when I was about to beg him again, his thumb pressed my clit with the right amount of pressure and his fingers slammed into me in one move.
“Oh, God!” I cried out and the world exploded around me. The electricity of an orgasm given to me by a man I loved. An orgasm I didn’t give myself. The strength of it rocked my body so hard I lost my breath. I was okay like this. Lost in this world floating from a high that had been amazing. And he’d only used his hand.
He pulled me into his arms and rolled to his side taking me with him. I floated down from my euphoria, wrapped in his embrace. His breath on my neck and his smell all around me.
Exhaustion from the day and the experience took over, and I let myself relax and trust this. Trust him. I didn’t bring up my concerns. I wasn’t sure I needed to because this felt right. It was safe . . . I felt safe. The way he held me against him I didn’t feel alone. Not anymore. No words were spoken by either of us, but we didn’t need any words. Moments came in life that you didn’t question. I hadn’t had many, but this was one.
It was a terrible idea, but a perfect one all the same. Loving Jasper would be the easiest thing I had ever done. Was it fair not to take a chance on love? I saw his heart. He was good. He was trustworthy. He wasn’t going to destroy me and leave me unable to take care of Heidi. His heart was too big for that. This wasn’t a mistake. It couldn’t be.
My eyes fluttered open slowly and I turned my head to look up at him. His eyes were closed. Long eyelashes fanned his cheekbones. Perfect cheekbones. He didn’t have a flaw. It was the man inside, the one overcoming his own pain that I loved. He was so much more than a spoiled rich kid. He was a fighter, and I respected that. If I didn’t, I couldn’t have fallen in love with him.
Jasper
I HAD STEPPED OVER THE line. No, I’d blown the line completely away. There was no line anymore. It had taken the whiskey to push me over, but I would have eventually done it anyway.
There was no keeping Beulah at arm’s length. I didn’t want her at arm’s length. I wanted Beulah right where she was at this moment. In my arms. Asleep, looking so damn beautiful it hurt.
We had to figure this all out now. Find a way to make it all work. Because I wanted this. I might have been drunk last night, but I’d been honest. Being with her made me happy. Happier than I could ever remember. I was willing to do anything to be with her.
I needed to prepare myself for her arguments, though. She wouldn’t be okay with moving out of the basement. I knew that was going to be the first issue. But I wasn’t going to sleep up here in this bed knowing she was down there with the washing machine. I’d sleep with her if she refused. That should fix that.
Stone would be a problem when he returned. I’d have to talk to him. Make sure he changed his attitude with her. I wasn’t going to allow him to talk down to her any longer. I hated he did it before. I’d let it slide for selfish reasons. Mostly because I knew the affect Stone had on females. He’d been able to charm women his entire life. I was afraid if he were nice to Beulah she’d fall under the spell he so easily cast when he wanted to.