I brushed a soft kiss across her forehead before laying back on the bed. I placed my hands behind my neck, and settled in for a long night. There would be no sleep tonight; I was fairly sure of that. All there would be were memories. I did it every year; dredged up the memories that should have been the beginning of many more. But we’d fucked it all up. There were no more memories to be had. And all that was left were the ghosts that haunted me.
Chapter 28
Storm ~ Lifehouse
Velvet
I rolled over and reached for Nash. The bed was empty though. Sitting up, I listened to see if I could hear him in the house. Nothing.
My feet hit the ground a moment later, and I went in search of him. He’d been off last night, and I was concerned. I found him in the kitchen, leaning against the bench with a coffee in his hand. He turned when he heard me, and I sucked in a breath at the sight of his face.
He looked ravaged.
I started to walk towards him, but he placed his coffee mug down and took a step away from me. I stopped, not sure what was happening. It was big though, whatever it was.
He spoke first. “I’ve got some club stuff to take care of today, so I’ll be busy all day.” His voice was off; ragged almost.
“Okay,” I said, carefully.
He didn’t move though, just stood watching me, warily. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him. But I knew he wouldn’t allow that so I didn’t move. I waited for him, for his next move.
Taking a step in my direction, he said, “I don’t know when I’l be finished, so we shouldn’t make any plans for tonight.” He took a breath before adding, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
That was like a slap in the face, but I knew deep down that he hadn’t meant it the way it came out. I also knew he needed me to let him go. I nodded. “Okay.”
He blinked, like he hadn’t expected that to be so easy. “Okay,” he said, and he left without a kiss goodbye. I watched him go, my heart heavy. The worst part was, I had no idea why.
***
A couple of hours later, I was dressed and at a loose end. Nash was on my mind; I couldn’t think about anything else. I’d sent him a text message but he hadn’t replied. There was something very wrong with him; I knew it in my gut. And being the kind of woman I was, I couldn’t not check in on him so I grabbed my car keys, and made the short drive to the Storm clubhouse.
His bike was out the front, and I entered the clubhouse with a small amount of hesitation. I didn’t want him to think I was checking up on him; there was a difference between checking up and checking in, and it was the latter I was doing.
The first thing I noticed was that the clubhouse was pretty empty. Sunday morning; I guess most of the boys were having a quiet day at home. The second thing I noticed, or rather, heard, was yelling coming from the bar area. And it was Nash’s voice that I heard. And, holy shit, I’d never heard him so mad.
I hurried in the direction of the yelling, coming to a halt only when I found him. He was yelling at a woman, and his focus was so intently on her that he didn’t see me. I could see both their faces from where I was standing, and she had tears streaming down hers. Nash, on the other hand, looked like he was about to explode. He towered over her, and his voice thundered out abuse. I struggled to make out what he was yelling; I was actually more concerned for the woman at this point. He looked like he wanted to kill her.
Finally, I decided to step in, for her safety mostly. “Nash,” I said as I moved toward him.
His head spun around to face me, and he stopped yelling. But, it was like he didn’t even recognise me. Wild eyes frantically searched my face, as if he was trying to place me.
The woman took the opportunity to yell at Nash now that he’d stopped yelling at her. “I lost him too, Nash; not just you. I’ve struggled just as much as you - ”
He whipped his head back around to face her, and cut her off. “I don’t give a fuck about you and what you lost. If you hadn’t fucked your way through your friends, none of this would have happened,” he roared.
Gabriella.
Shit.
She stunned me with what she yelled back at him. “I wasn’t the only one who fucked up, Nash. You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants either.”
Wow. Hadn’t seen that coming.
Her words seemed to jar him. And from his reaction, I knew what she’d said was true. I could also tell he felt tremendous guilt about something; perhaps about cheating on her, I wasn’t sure.
He pushed his hand through his hair. It looked like he was doing battle in his mind about something. And then, suddenly, he turned and punched the wall near where they were standing.
“Fuck!” he yelled, and punched the wall again. The force of his punches put two huge holes in the wall, and I could see he was going to punch it again.
“Nash!” I yelled at him.
He twisted to look at me. This time, I’d managed to get through to him; recognition crossed his face. But he was in a wild state, and I didn’t think I had any hope of calming him. Shit, I wished that Scott or one of the boys was here. I pulled my phone out with the intent to call Scott, but Nash was on the move.
He didn’t give Gabriella another moment’s attention, and he didn’t say anything to me. Instead, he stalked out of the clubhouse, and to his bike. I rushed after him, yelling out his name, but by the time I caught up with him, he was already on his bike. He looked at me for a long moment before roaring off.
Shit.
I knew he needed me, but with no idea where he’d go, I was stuck. My phone was still in my hand, and I figured it was definitely time to ask for Scott’s help. I called him, but he didn’t answer. I tried again a couple more times. Still no luck. Bloody hell, why wasn’t he answering his phone?