“Gideon, what were you hiding from me? I"m not going to look in your mind, not if I can help it.” She had to focus hard to put that curtain down, keep his thoughts to just white noise, but she could do it, as long as she spoke in simple sentences and didn"t try to walk and chew gum at the same time. “I want you to tell me.”
His gaze went to Daegan behind her, and she was surprised to see a look of deep regret cross the vampire hunter"s face. “She didn"t know why I killed Trey,” he said to Daegan. “You didn"t tell her about annual kills.”
Daegan"s muttered oath was enough to alarm her, but it did more than that. It was something they both were keeping from her. She rounded on him, accusation in her gaze.
“I thought we were done with lies.”
“I"ve never lied to you, cher.”
She thought about screaming, but maybe men were incapable of considering premeditated omission lying. Sort of like the I would have told you I fucked an entire cheerleading squad in your bed, but you never asked, did you? How did I know you’d want to know about that?
Gideon made a short cough behind her, but she didn"t turn, afraid of what she might do if it was a smothered laugh instead of a reaction to the cold air.
“What is an annual kill?”
Daegan hesitated. “Vampires must take a life once a year, Anwyn. The life of a decent human being, whose blood is not tainted by evil or a dissolute life. It"s necessary, vital, to maintain our peak physical and mental stability. Without it, a vampire will start to lose that.”
“You mean, I will . . .”
“It"s not something you will need to deal with for many months. When you do, I"ll help you, in whatever way is necessary.” Daegan squeezed her hand. “Can we leave it as a subject for another time, cher? It will be there for us to discuss anytime.” Anwyn swallowed. Yeah, what the hell. I guess we can put off the idea of me becoming a murderer for another day.
Now she understood why Gideon had blocked her, the alarm that had disrupted his anger about his income sources. In his irritation, he hadn"t thought about the path he was taking the conversation, until it was too late to cover the trail.
She had understood that there were bad vampires, just like there were bad people. Until Daegan had told her otherwise, she"d hoped Gideon"s targets had been those that were closer to the monsters of the movies, than vampires like Daegan. Even when Daegan told her about the vampire Gideon killed right before coming to her, she"d comforted herself with the idea that Gideon was with her now. For the time being, he wouldn"t be doing that.
But this made things different, didn"t it? There was no vampire who hadn"t done murder.
Daegan . . . Holy Goddess, however many centuries old he was, that meant he"d taken . . .
hundreds of innocent lives.
“It is necessary for our survival, Anwyn,” Daegan said. “It"s no different from what a wolf or lion must do to nourish itself. Only instead of making kills every several days, we only need to do it once a year.”
She looked toward Gideon, understood a little better why that fortress existed inside him, a fortress that obviously rolled up its draw-bridge against her when she hit the right button. If she could possibly come to grips with taking an innocent life, how on earth could Gideon reconcile himself to being a part of that, if he"d spent so much of his life trying to save the future annual kills of every vampire life he took?
“Take me home,” she said to him. “You and Daegan can ride in the front.” 5
WHEN they arrived at the apartment, Anwyn went to her bedroom, closed the door without a word to either one of them. Daegan shouldered his bag, took it down the hallway to his room.
Looking between them, Gideon decided he"d take the opportunity while he was fairly certain Anwyn"s mind would be shut to both of them, and followed Daegan.
The vampire had unzipped his garment bag. He hung a handful of clothes back up in his closet, expensive clothes that looked dry-cleaned and pressed, reminding Gideon of how they"d gotten to this uncomfortable moment. Jesus, he wished he hadn"t let temper take him over. Of all the things for her to have to deal with. And tonight, of all nights.
Daegan pulled a pair of loaded nine-millimeters out of the bag, placed them in the top drawer of his dresser. “They won"t delay her validation as a vampire to the next Gathering,” he said without preamble. “They expect me to bring her back in two weeks. The time I spent on assignments in Europe for them was the only extension they would provide, and I drew those out as long as possible, to give Brian the maximum amount of time to help stabilize her.” Daegan hadn"t turned on the light in the bedroom. The light was on in the bath, and the shadow thrown across his face made Gideon realize the vamp was a little paler than usual, such that he could see some stress lines around his mouth. It told him the past month had been no picnic for Daegan, either. “So there is something going on. Somebody on the Council is gunning for you, and they"re using what should have been a straightforward kill to stick it to you.”“It"s likely. They want to address that at the same time they do the validation. But she appears to be doing well. It"s better to go ahead and get it done. The sooner she is validated, the safer she"ll be within this world.” Daegan sat down on the bed, began to remove his shoes.
“If someone wants to bring you on the carpet for Barnabus"s kill, she could be in danger there.”
“No. It won"t be entirely easy for her there, but she is strong enough to handle herself, and I will be treated separately from her situation. Newly made vampires are viewed much as children, not yet culpable for the sins of their sires or associates. I"ll be able to watch over her.”
“We both will.”
Daegan"s head lifted, his dark eyes fastening on Gideon"s. “You can"t be serious. You do remember what happened the last time you attended a Council Gathering?”
“Well, I didn"t have an official invitation then. I"ll be better behaved. I won"t bring explosives.”
“Gideon—”
“I remember what you said before you left. If she loses it in front of the Council, they"ll treat her like a deformed animal. They"ll order you to execute her.”
“And I told you I would never permit that, even if I had to take down every one of them.” Daegan had started flicking open the buttons of his shirt, but now he stood, squaring off with Gideon. “You said from the very beginning you were not prepared to stand as her full servant like this, not among other vampires. Gideon, you would be in the very heart of it, for however long or short a time we are there. You will not survive that.”
“Nice to know you care.”
“It is not about you. Remember Morena Wilson?”
Gideon stiffened at the reminder of Trey"s victim, the nurse killed behind the generator station. “You felt helpless when you learned of her death,” Daegan continued. “That sense of helpessness was what sent you after Trey. You didn"t think; you reacted.”
“Fuck you.”
“What will it do to Anwyn, her stability, if you are killed?”
“I know the vampire world pretty well myself. Seeing me as her servant, scraping and fetching and kissing her shoes, will get them off, way better than my death. They might knock me around a bit, but I can handle a rough time. I"ll do that, if that"s what"s needed. I understand how important it is that she"s accepted. Hell, Lyssa had to survive in the forest for months as a fugitive when they found out about her. Anwyn wouldn"t survive that, not with her seizures. She"d be easy pickings.”
“No, she wouldn"t. But it will never come to that.” Daegan pulled off a knife holster holding three blades and tossed it on the dresser, a sign of frustration and impatience that Gideon took as encouragement.
“If we can get her through this,” he persisted, “she"s pretty much home free. Then I"ll step aside. But I won"t walk away when she may be facing an execution squad. Yeah, you"ll say you can handle it, but you can"t be everywhere at once. I think you know it"s going to take both of us to do it.”
“I don"t deny an extra mind and pair of hands would be useful. But you"re still overlooking how it will affect her.”
“If you"re worried about how Anwyn would handle them picking on me, we can work that out. It"s a risk either way, but the odds are better with me there than without me.” Gideon stepped forward. “She is better. But, hell, if I so much as go to the grocery store, that crap in her mind comes out of the woodwork. I"m not in her mind now, but occasionally, I reach out, a formless feeling, no real invasiveness, just to keep them cowed down. It"s something Brian showed me how to do.
“I"m not saying she"s an invalid, not by any means. She can manage them on her own, but it"s like having your head invaded by an army of vicious, asthmatic Darth Vaders. Yeah, you can be in her head, too, and you can probably keep them down, but are you going to fence with the Council over what happened with Barnabus, keep an eye on her, and handle the other hundred contingencies that could happen? Can you do it all?”
Daegan studied him for a long moment. Though the vampire hunter obviously meant every word, and he knew the man had the courage to back it up—hell, he wasn"t certain he"d ever met someone with such a foolish overabundance of courage, unless it was Anwyn—something was not quite right, something he couldn"t quite place. It ticked uneasily in his gut. He"d seen a shadow of it in Gideon"s face when he"d met them at the car, a sense of regret and odd . . .
inevitability.
“Have you read the Harry Potter books, Gideon?”
Gideon was obviously braced for more arguments. At his startled look, Daegan gave him a tight smile. “Of course not. I expect you don"t do much reading in your leisure time. In Goblet of Fire, Harry makes the very sportsmanlike decision to allow Cedric Diggory to grasp the Tri-Wizard Cup with him, the intention being that they would share the all-important tournament win. Harry"s noble act results in him and Cedric being plunged into an evil place, and Cedric is killed. If Harry had been less noble, less fair-minded, Cedric would have lived. It is a very classic example of how noble intentions often lead to tragic results.” He straightened, squared off with the hunter. “I have no desire to be Harry Potter.”