Fear sunk talons into her chest, yanking her back into places she couldn’t go again, even with Mason’s reassurance at her back.
I can’t do this. I really can’t. With a desperate look at him, she bolted. Taking the verandah steps at a run, Jess despised herself for acting like a cowardly child, but once she started moving, real panic took over, as if she had rocket fuel in her feet. When she reached the bottom, she didn’t look to see if she was being followed, but ran toward the gardens.
Lady Lyssa arched a brow. “I suspect she isn’t getting us a welcoming cup of wine?”
“We didn’t intend to spook her,” Jacob offered with a frown. “I’m sorry, Mason.”
“I’d intended to spend some time with her before your arrival tonight.” Mason pressed his lips together. “Excuse me. I’ll be back shortly.” He stopped in a turn toward the rail, and gestured. “If you’ll make yourselves comfortable up here, there’s wine and other things to drink in the cabinet behind the tiki bar.”
Conscious of his visitors’ speculative looks, the fact he hadn’t properly welcomed the new infant, Mason hoped Lyssa understood his nature enough to forgive him. He had more important things to handle now. He took a shortcut over the rail, landing lithely on the grass. With a ripple of movement, he was gone from sight.
Jacob glanced at Lyssa, and Danny and Dev joined them in the exchange. “His abilities as host haven’t changed since we saw him last,” he observed.
“Hmm.” Lyssa shifted the baby to her shoulder and Kane buried his face in her neck, gurgling. “But some things have changed.”
“You know, I’ve suggested to Lord Brian that vampires are so cranky because of the lack of sunlight.” This came from Devlin.
“Every bloke feels better on a sunny day. Maybe you all need more vitamin D.” Jacob cocked his head at him. “What do you suggest? Helmets with plant lights mounted on them?” Dev shrugged. “Or antidepressants. Your Yank doctors are pushing them like crack these days. Mason should be able to get himself a healthy dose by nipping from a blood bank.”
“Devlin,” Danny said, showing her fangs, “I think we need a bar-tender more than a psychoanalyst right now.” Dev gave her a short bow and a half smile. “I’ve always heard they’re the same bloke with two different hats, my lady. But it’s my pleasure to serve. What would everyone like?”
Coward. She was a stupid, idiot coward. She could do this. Couldn’t she? He said it wouldn’t be worse than the club, and she’d enjoyed the club, despite her trepidations. But this wasn’t like the club. Three vampires. Three of them. She’d close herself up in her room until after they left. Mason wouldn’t make her spend time with the vampires. He’d said so.
“I did. And I meant it.”
She looked up. Only then did she realize that she’d run blindly to the first refuge she could find, which was a garden shed. She was wedged in a corner, amid lawn implements knocked askew. Oh, God. She really couldn’t do this. She couldn’t see them, smell them, without thinking about Raithe, without being pulled into the darkness of her memories. The bracelets and collar wouldn’t help, because she didn’t want to hurt herself. She just wanted to get away.
“I know,” he murmured. He was squatting on his heels before her, laying a hand on her bent knee. “It’s too soon, Jessica. I’m sorry. But I had reasons for inviting them here now, things that have to do with your welfare. Lyssa and Jacob have many contacts in the States. They’ll be important to setting up your new life for you, when you take Brian’s treatment.” When, not if. Of course. It was clear she couldn’t handle being his servant. Hell, she hadn’t even been able to stand fast long enough to offer them a glass of wine after their journey. She looked up at him, at his serious eyes, the tightness around his mouth.
Pain.
“Mason, I’m so sorry.”
He leaned in and slid his arms around her, shifting her against his chest, her head tucked under his jaw. Her body curled, half fetal, between his knees in the dust of the shed. “Habiba, have I given you the impression there’s anything for you to be sorry about? I am sorry. Vampires so rarely come here, I wasn’t attuned to their arrival as I should have been. I don’t want you to feel a moment of fear, ever again.” He tipped up her chin, brushed her lips with his once, lightly, then more pressure. Soft, sweet and gentle, but with that erotic undercurrent that had her lips parting, letting him in, her body relaxing in his arms, remembering all he’d done for her and to her for the past two days.
When he raised his head, she was feeling a little more settled. “You could pass me off as stable help.” She attempted a smile, because she didn’t want to be the cause of the concern in his eyes, either. “I finished mucking out the horse stalls an hour or two ago. I smell like manure and probably have straw in my hair.”
“You look lovely.” He plucked out several straws and dropped them to the side, returning her smile when she narrowed her eyes at him. While nervous banter was a better choice than terror, she knew nothing felt better than his arms. She wasn’t brave enough to say that, but of course, she’d already thought it.
Putting her head back down on his biceps, she closed her eyes. “I’ve fallen for a bloody vampire. But I can’t stay. Mason, I am so fucked up.”
“Shhh.” He cupped the back of her head, his fingers gripping her hair with unexpected fierceness. “It’s all right, habiba. You need time. It will take you more than a couple months to get past what Raithe did to you. We’ve both always known that. But you are young and strong, and you have that time.” His voice lowered, his breath against her ear, his scent in her nose, his larger-than-life presence surrounding her. “Remember, whether you are here or somewhere else of your choosing, my protection will always be with you. I will keep you safe, if it takes my life to do it. If you trust in nothing else, trust in that.” She pressed her face deeper into his sleeve, into his heat and muscle, thinking her heart might break right there, and end any decision she had to make. Instead, he pried her off of him, held her shoulders so she had to look into his face. “Now, if you wish to spend the entire time they are here in the barn or your room, or anywhere that we are not, that is your choice. Though I will miss your company. That said, this would be a safe, controlled way to face this fear of yours, much like the club.” She swallowed, her trepidation rising again. Five years of social gatherings, everything she knew about vampires and their entertainments . . . But how could she refuse him?
“Because it might be what is best for you.” His hand settled on her throat, stroking the tender flesh inside the collar, making her shiver. As he studied her involuntary response, the tightening of her fingers on his arm, the coil of warmth in her lower belly, a muscle flexed in his jaw. “A Master must be very careful about what he asks of a submissive like you, Jessica. Your compulsion to surrender is instinctive. You are too demanding of yourself. If you join us for a while, I will be glad to see you. If you do not, I will not allow you to castigate yourself. You suffered at the hands of a monster for five years.” His grip commanded her attention. “You will never be a disappointment to me, you understand? Punishing yourself for not being able to conquer such a terrible, justified fear in a matter of two months is unacceptable to me.”
She swallowed, caught between his tenderness and this protective, stern side, stirred by both. “Prefer to punish me yourself, do you?” she managed.
“It is a pleasure difficult to deny myself, my love. Particularly when you have been so responsive to my discipline.” His eyes glinted and she almost smiled, but the butterfly wings in her belly were still iced with the lingering dread. “But do not test me. If you join us, while I will not compel you to participate in entertainments we vampires enjoy, it doesn’t mean I might not have you straddle my lap, command you to curl your lovely little hands around my cock and guide it deep inside of you, right in front of them. I should have done that at the club.”
His voice dropped to a husky seduction, his grip slipping to her nape to fondle. He drew her closer, trapped her between the muscled weight of his thighs. “I would order you to hold my gaze, forbid you to look away. You would know their presence is irrelevant, because it is only my pleasure you serve with the rise and fall of your body. I would push this T-shirt up, grip your breasts in my hands and suckle them. They would envy the lithe curve of your spine, arching back, the flex of your buttocks as they pressed down on my legs, your cries as you came for me.”
Jessica stared up at him. He could take her to her back in the garden shed, and she would give him anything he wanted. “Does that arouse me because I truly want to be your servant, Mason, or because I can’t be anything else?”
“Only you can answer that, habiba. But I do know that you are everything a vampire could want in a third-marked servant.” Riveted by the rare emotion he allowed in his tone, she reached up and touched his face. He caught her hand, squeezed it, not so gently. “You tempt me to damnation, Jessica,” he added, low. “I know you want more time to make your choice. But I fear my own nature will eventually take over and deny you that choice. You must decide soon.”
“I know.” But she had no idea what decision to make.
His eyes shadowed then. “Go now, and get your shower. You’ll know where to find me if you decide to join us. Be warned, though. If you do, I will request domestic services from you. That’s to salvage my pride, so I don’t look completely besotted.” A light smile touched his lips. “Things like bringing me or our guests a glass of wine, or sitting at my feet, so I can stroke your hair.” Before she could respond to that, he’d lifted her and straightened to his feet, taking her with him. As he guided her out of the forest of gardening tools, she realized she was covered with cobwebs. He helped her brush them off once they reached the doorway, his hands lingering so that her body stirred, leaning automatically toward him. But when he was done, he stepped back from her. She might have felt hurt, except for the burning demand she saw in his eyes, the tight jaw that spoke of his restraint. And the devastating words he spoke before he left her there.