My skin crawls at the thought. “I don’t want to do this,” I admit softly.
“Baby.” He cups my cheeks, drifts his thumbs across my skin so gently I close my eyes, savoring his touch. Nerves ravage at my stomach. It almost feels like this will be the last time we’re together. Dramatic but true. “I know you don’t. But do this for me. For us. I promise it will all work out in the end.”
“And what will you be doing while I’m pretending to be with Zachary?” Disgust roils through me, upsetting my stomach. What if he goes back to Pilar? I can hardly stand the thought. Just the idea of Pilar having her hands all over him makes me want to hurt her.
And I never want to hurt anyone.
“Investigating. Questioning Pilar. Questioning your father.”
Of course, he mentions Pilar. I hate that. And what he wants us to do … it sounds risky. I don’t understand why we have to turn this into such a covert operation. “I won’t have sex with him, Ryder. He’ll want to, but I won’t do it.”
“The last fucking thing I want you to do is have sex with him. If you did, I’d have to kill him.” He kisses me again, savagely sweet, his hands pressing into the bruised flesh of my backside so hard I cry out against his mouth. He immediately relaxes his hold, looking contrite. “Just tell him you’re considering giving him another chance but you want to go slow.”
I nod, taking in his words. I could do that. And Zachary would believe it, too. He’s so arrogant he probably believes he’s pushed me into a corner. He’ll be so excited that I’m willing to give him yet another chance, he’ll probably agree with my stipulations. He’ll also continue to do whatever he wants anyway.
Not that I care anymore.
“I understand, though, if you have to … let him touch you. Kiss you.” The flash of anger on his handsome face almost scares me. “Avoid it if you can.”
His words make my heart hurt, which is stupid. But I thought our relationship shifted since what happened last night. I don’t want to be just a game to Ryder McKay.
But what if this is some sort of game? What if he’s using me to get back at Zachary and Pilar somehow? For all I know, I could be walking into a trap.
“Exactly how long do you expect me to pretend?” I ask warily. No way do I want Zachary to kiss me. It would feel like I was cheating. I don’t want anyone’s hands or lips on me unless they’re Ryder’s.
“However long it takes. Hopefully before Zachary leaves for London,” Ryder answers. He withdraws from me, lost in thought, and I watch him pace, admiring his fine masculine form. He looks like he could have stepped right out of a magazine, he’s so immaculately dressed. Even his messy hair is artfully arranged and incredibly sexy. My panties dampen just looking at him.
Which makes me remember that I have to cancel our lunch date.
“My sister asked if I’d go to lunch with her,” I say hesitatingly.
He stops his pacing and turns to look at me. “You told her you had plans, right?”
I slowly shake my head, nervousness filling me when his eyes go dark with anger. “I told her I would meet her. She said she needed me.”
“Violet.” He sounds angry and I back up a step when he approaches me. That long-legged stride brings him to me in seconds and he slips his hand around my neck, his long fingers gripping my hair tight. “I need you, too. This might be our last chance to be together for a while.”
“I-I know.” I nod my head quickly, my entire body shaking when he tightens his fingers in my hair. It hurts. It feels good. Why do I like his show of aggression? Why do I want him to wield such power over me?
“You chose your sister over me,” he murmurs, his voice tight, his eyes lit with fire.
“She’s family,” I argue.
“Don’t I matter, too?” He pulls me so close his face is in mine and my legs wobble.
“I …” Pausing, I contemplate him. Does he? Yes. But do I matter to him?
I thought I did. Maybe I was wrong.
Memories of last night come back at me, one after another. He was so rough, yet gentle, too. I want that again. I want what only he can give me.
I don’t know if he’s willing to give me what I want. If he even wants to.
And that scares me the most.
Chapter Twenty-four
Ryder
I’m being an asshole and I know it, but I can’t help it. I’m hurt that she’d rather have lunch with Rose than with me. That she’d prefer to sit at some crowded restaurant listening to her sister complain about whatever when she could have been with me here in my office, naked and gasping and coming again and again.
The truth? I’m jealous. Jealous that Violet has these other relationships that mean something to her and I have no one save for Pilar, and that bitch doesn’t count. Violet’s family comes before all others for her and I have no freaking idea what that’s like. None. My mother was never in my life. My dad was a selfish bastard who didn’t want to deal with me. I had no real friends. No other family.
It doesn’t help that I’m sending her back to Zachary for … what? To protect her from Pilar while I figure out what she’s trying to do with Forrest? And is that shit even for real, her involvement with the old man? The woman is conniving, I’ll give her that, but would she take it that far?
Yes. Looks like she would.
“Do I matter to you?” she finally asks, her voice low and husky and sexy as hell. She chews on her lower lip, obviously nervous about my answer.