And just like that, I’m nervous, too.
“Yes,” I murmur, not sure what else I should say. I’ve never done this sort of thing before. Embarking on a normal relationship with a woman is foreign to me and I feel like a complete idiot. More than anything, I feel completely out of control, and I hate it.
“Really, Ryder? Because if I did matter to you, I’m thinking my going back to Zachary, even if it’s pretend, wouldn’t be easy for you to deal with. I know I can’t stand the thought of you being near Pilar.” She purses her lips, looking so damn prim and proper in her cream-colored button-up blouse and slim black skirt. Simple and elegant, with her hair pulled into a low ponytail and those damn diamonds sparkling in her ears. I hope to hell Lawrence didn’t give them to her or I’m going to have to flush them down the toilet.
She’s right. I’m the asshole who’s pushing her back into his arms. It’s fake, but still. I’m taking a huge risk. What if she’s not over him? What if she goes back to him and realizes she wants to … stay?
It’s a chance I’ll have to take to find out exactly what Pilar is up to.
“I care. More than you know.” I take a deep breath, hating how vulnerable I feel.
“That’s all I can ask for.” Violet comes toward me, reaching out to touch the side of my face. We stare at each other quietly and I close my eyes for a brief moment, taking a deep breath. She overwhelms me. I want her. Always. If I could, I’d throw her on top of my desk and take her, not caring if anyone caught us.
But I won’t. I let the memories of this morning float through my mind. How I fucked her before I left her apartment. Stood at the end of the bed while she lay sprawled, my hands at her hips, my cock powering inside of her gorgeous and well-used body. Her breasts jiggled, her eyes glowed, and when I pulled out and came all over her stomach, she ran her fingers through the spots of creamy white and then licked them clean with a satisfied smile on her face.
Yeah, I’ve got it bad. It’s like she was made for me. Never before have I acted this way with a woman. I like to boss them around in bed, but that’s only because I know what I want. But there’s something about Violet that makes me want to command her. Mark her.
Own her.
“You make me fucking crazy,” I growl as I pull her into my arms, my mouth locking with hers. She moans and holds me close, her tongue sliding against mine, her breasts smashed against my chest. I’m instantly hard. Again I’m tempted. I could tug her skirt up and fuck her right here. Right now.
But I won’t. I need to get her out of my office so we can start putting our plan into action. I’ll trick Pilar. And Violet will trick Zachary.
Hopefully, we’ll get to the bottom of this and get what we want.
“You should go,” I whisper against her lips after I break our frantic kiss. She pulls away from me, her eyes on mine, full of hurt at what I just said.
Doesn’t she realize that all I want is to protect her?
“Okay.” She takes a deep breath and nods, trying to withdraw from my hold, but I don’t let her go. Not yet.
It’s as if I can’t.
Reaching out, I carefully cradle the side of her head so I don’t mess up her hair. I rub my finger over the diamond stud in her ear. “Who gave you these?”
Her eyes dim and her expression is somber. “They were my mother’s.”
Ah Christ. I don’t know much about her mother’s death, but I know it happened a long time ago. I don’t want to upset her. “They’re beautiful.”
“She was beautiful.” A little smile curls her lips. “People say I look a lot like her.”
“Then I know she was definitely beautiful.” I lean in and press a soft kiss to her mouth. She tilts her head, her lips clinging, prolonging the connection, and I sweep my tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss …
Damn it. I need to stop.
Breaking away from her, I drop my hand. She looks up at me once more, those soulful brown eyes making me wonder what other secrets she keeps hidden. Because she’s got them. Everyone does.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispers.
My fingers pause at the front of her shirt. “Do what?”
“Pretend I want Zachary. That I want my old life with him.” She shakes her head and closes her eyes, her mouth crumpling as if she might cry. “I don’t want him. I only want you.”
“Hey.” I draw her close and kiss her trembling lips softly, keeping them there as I murmur reassurances. “It’s okay. It won’t last for long. I promise.”
She nods once, her eyes shining with tears, and I clasp her cheeks with both hands, bringing her in so I can kiss her forehead, her nose, her lips once more. “Don’t cry, baby. Seeing your tears kills me.” They tear at my heart and make my head swim. I can’t fucking take it, seeing her so sad.
I may want to own Violet, but I’m afraid she might already own me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “Just … tell me you’ll come over tonight. Tell me I get to see you.”
“I’ll come over.” I hadn’t planned on it. I planned on staying away so this looks real. I can’t tell her everything yet. I don’t even know if I can one hundred percent trust her.
But I know one thing: I can’t stay away from her. I’m addicted. To her scent, her smile, her brain, her lips, her tongue, her pussy … every single piece of her.