“Gag him,” she said softly, and Daegan complied, taking a dildo from the bag shaped like a short, thick phallus. She expected the vampire would take visceral pleasure in forcing the cocklike object into Gideon"s mouth, stretching it and pushing the hard rubber to the back so it would tickle his throat, making him feel even more vulnerable.
She would get Gideon to let go, make him think of nothing tonight but pleasing her, whatever she commanded of him. She couldn"t get trapped in sentiment about his past life.
This was their “now,” and he belonged to her.
Gideon tried to bite Daegan, cursed him fluently, but Daegan deftly caught his thumb in the corner of his mouth and shoved the dildo in, strapping it around his head to hold it fast. Then Anwyn took the well-lubricated phallus, one that was twice the size of what she"d put into him before, and slowly began to ease it in. It was smaller than Daegan, so she knew he could take it. Slow, ease, ease, ease, and she teased his balls with her fingertips, stroked the base of his cock, felt him tremble. A strangled, frantic curse against the gag, a sudden jerk, and she knew he hadn"t been able to hold back his climax. She used his mindless bucking to seat the dildo all the way in. Impossibly, it made her want him more, the unconscious way he pushed back, encouraging her to fuck him vigorously even as she seated it. Daegan"s eyes were fastened on the movement of the phallus, the heaving of Gideon"s flanks, telling her he wanted to be where that dildo was now. Not surprising to her, Gideon was imagining the same thing, hard as he was trying to banish that thought from his mind.
“There. Shhh . . .” As he came down, panting, his breath rasping around the gag, she soothed, running a hand down his tense back. “This is the way it needs to be, Gideon.” Whatever happens tonight, I’ll have been there first. What they do won’t mean anything. It can’t touch you. You’re mine.
But they"d strip his pride, his dignity. It didn"t matter how she changed his perspective with the tool of lust; she knew the truth, and it made her deeply, terribly angry. They would rape him, violate him, punish him for having been arrogant enough to believe he could hunt vampires. For succeeding at it. She closed her hand into a fist on the small of his back. He would take it, because he loved her. And maybe because he didn"t think he deserved any better, because he was still punishing himself for never being enough, for being a failure when all he"d ever done was fight and protect the innocent and those he loved.
She found the idea intolerable. “Gideon, I want you to listen to me.” Changing tactics, she squatted at his head, yanked his chin so he was forced to look into her face, despite the humiliation of the gag stretching his mouth. His eyes were so tortured and angry, his climax still gripping him. It only fueled the fierceness of her voice. “If Laura were here today, and if she had the heart you say she did, she would tell you that you did your very, very best.
Anything any woman could ever ask of the man who loved her. She would be so angry at you for holding on to this guilt, denying yourself love, life . . . value.” His gaze steadied at her fervent conviction, and she was aware of Daegan"s regard as well.
“You fight me when I do things like this to you, because you hate the fact that you let go when I push you hard enough. I push you into a place where it"s not about anything but pleasing me, getting lost in the pleasure of being mine. You think you have to fight because it"s your nature. And it is.” She allowed herself a soft smile, running her fingers through his hair. “But this isn"t about that kind of fighting. You don"t want me to think I can push you around all the time, and I know that. But your overwhelming desire to give yourself to a Mistress, that"s in your heart. I feel it.”
He shook his head, but before she thought she"d failed, his voice came into her head. Not to a Mistress . . . Plenty of clubs, plenty of places. Only to you. Only serve you.
His expression was filled with old pain and new, but a yearning so strong, she couldn"t help but respond to it. She slid the gag free but bade him remain silent with fingers to his lips.
Bending down, she pressed her mouth to his left eye, held there, conveying all the tenderness she had for him. Daegan touched her hair and in her peripheral vision she saw him grip Gideon"s shoulder. He was moved as well, telling her Daegan was in her mind, hearing Gideon"s words to her.
“Then do this for me,” she whispered. “I"ve put marks on you with my own hands.” Her fingers slid across one of the welts, and he shivered at the pain. “You bear my third mark.” Now she passed under his shoulder, finding the deep crimson scar high on his pectoral.
“Tonight, I want you to do what a submissive does. Release everything, know that everything you do is for my pleasure and your own. Only you and I exist in that room. The Council is no more significant than this whip, that gag, or the lovely cross we have in our playroom at home.
They"re props, Gideon. They"re not what"s real, and I want you to remember you have every right to be proud and strong and defiant. Because you belong to me. And because every damn one of those bastards knows you can take down a vampire.”
Unfortunately that’s why his life is in danger. A quiet reminder from Daegan. She lifted her gaze, let them both hear her savage retort.
And it’s what burns their asses to the bone, knowing he could do it to any one of them. Fuck them all.
Gideon closed his eyes then, nodded his head once, his shoulders releasing tension as if he"d let go of a burden. Whether or not she could keep him from picking it up again would depend a lot on what happened tonight and going forward, but Anwyn realized she"d just released a burden of her own. Barnabus had turned her into a vampire, but she"d always been in control of her destiny. For the first time she accepted and believed that all that had changed was she was now a vampire Mistress. All Henry Barnabus had done was give rocket fuel to the skills she already possessed in full measure.
Maybe she"d always have the voices, the occasional nightmare, or carry deep-seated fears from what had happened to her in that alley, but tonight was a reminder that she"d sworn never to let fear run her life. She"d made that oath long before that alley. Back in childhood, a memory she"d partially shared with Gideon during the early days of her transition. Closing her eyes, she willed the thought away. Tonight was not about that either.
What was important was now. When the nightmares came, Gideon would be there. He was hers.
She looked up again, met Daegan"s eyes. Reaching out a hand, he touched her cheek. I as well, cher . We will both keep your nightmares away.
14
SHE"D taken great pleasure in cleaning Gideon up and tucking him into his trousers. She"d strapped a codpiece over the sleek latex shell, a handsome silver accessory with linked chains on the hips that matched the collar and wrist chains. It gave the outfit a medieval look with the polished calf boots she"d put with it. She left the dildo in his ass, so that when she and Daegan helped him up, he was moving stiffly. His cock had been impressively semierect before she cupped the codpiece over it, gaining another spark of fire from those blue eyes at her teasing fingers.
Once she was done with that, she used a linen handkerchief to clean the saliva around his mouth from the gag. His hands were still tethered behind his head, and she ran her hands over his biceps, down his chest, enjoying all of him while he watched her, saying nothing but simply feeling.
Moving in, she slid her arms around him, traced the firm meat of his buttocks, and then smiled as Daegan slid an arm around her waist from behind, pressing his body to hers, so he and Gideon had her sandwiched between them. Daegan was also impressively large, and she toyed with the idea of asking him to fuck her while she held on to Gideon, making him her anchor point, making him suffer, imagining how long he would have to wait for her willing pussy.
No time, regretfully. The knock on the door came, the servant"s call to dinner. Gideon"s gaze dropped, however, as Daegan"s hands molded over her breasts, flicking her nipples so even through the corset they beaded up, hard. When she arched her neck, Daegan gave her a quick bite, scoring the skin but not breaking through.
“Let"s go,” he said. “You might want to give him back the use of his arms, cher.” When she did, releasing the tether, Gideon brought his arms down around her, over top of Daegan"s, so they had her in a pair of interlocking rings. “Don"t take any unnecessary risks tonight,” her servant said, giving her a hard, searching look. “I"m glad you"re in a kick-ass mood, but be careful. Mistress.”
It sent a thrill through her, because he said it with full knowledge that she"d made calling her that a requirement. He could have ignored it, now that the moment had passed, but he hadn"t.
He"d embraced it for himself as well as for her.
“You"re both being far too serious.” She tilted her head to see Daegan giving her the same protective frown. “This is like Saturday night in Atlantis, corralling CEs and high-powered lawyers, making them beg for their mommies.”
Ducking beneath their hold, she went toward the door as the servant knocked again, looking for acknowledgment. “Are you two coming with me, or am I going to have to entertain the Council by myself ?”
She opened the door, met Vincent"s eyes, and then it hit her.
No warning, full force, as if those shadow creatures had been planning an ambush all evening. It drove her to her knees. The nausea clamped her stomach in a painful vise. Before she could stop herself, she"d expelled what looked like a gallon of blood, splattering the servant"s immaculate trouser legs.
Her mind was seized, pulled away, kicking and screaming. Barnabus"s insanity took the forefront, contorting her mouth with his dire rants. She wished she couldn"t hear them in her
mind, a stark echo of how the words tore from her throat in harsh screams. Another demon.
Bathe it in blood. Then we can always find it. Death and dying, that’s our way.
God, like a singsong nursery rhyme. Stupid, pointless gibberish. She was on the floor, a broken chair beside her where it had toppled when she grabbed it. But that was just a vague impression, because the room was swallowed by darkness. She was in her mind, surrounded by those shadow creatures. They"d never been like this. So much larger, a physical presence grabbing her limbs, her throat, their heated breath in her face. Fangs dripping, fingers clutching, like the alley. She screamed for help, no shame.