Not sure he agreed, but not having Tabor present to argue the point, Jacob considered the parchment, sifting through various options in his head. “Any chance you've ever gril ed Mason on how he survived three hundred years in the Sahara?”
“I spent some time with him there. Not that it will be much help. This won't adhere to the usual rules of a desert.”
“Was that where you learned the bel y dancing?” He lifted his gaze to hers, things far different from her dance skills in his intent expression. Though she saw it, she kept her tone light.
“He taught me the steps, on a few very long nights. Did you like it?”
“I think you know the answer to that. Though I don't like to think about the ways he might have taught you.”
“Possessive servant.”
“Damn straight.” He sobered. “This says you have to leave within the hour.”
“This is my quest, Jacob. You can't go on this one, and we both know it.” She nodded to the window.
“Dawn will come in minutes. It's a desert. No cover, blazing hot sun. You won't survive it. I need you here, for when I come back.”
The pack in the wardrobe contained a ful water skin, a couple dense pieces of bread and meat, a wide brimmed hat and what appeared to be a smal pruning knife. There was also a lined pouch, perhaps for carrying the gemstone. When she lifted it out and turned around, she wasn't surprised to find Jacob planted in front of her. He caught her hands and tossed the pack to the side. “How many times do we have to go through this, my lady? Where you go, I fol ow.”
“And how do you propose to do that, Jacob?” Her temper flared as she yanked her hands back. “She's given me three days. I'm to leave in the next hour, or I forfeit the quest. She's deliberately designed this one so I have to do it alone.”
“Which is why you shouldn't.”
“I'l be all right. I can stay in mind contact.”
“Unless that portal to the desert shuts down the mind link between us. She would have thought about that as well. I think you should cal her bluff. I don't think she'l kil either one of us outright if you refuse.
Tabor is now aware of your existence. If you refuse to choose either option, she might make us miserable for several days, but I don't think she'd be so bal sy she'd do something that can't be undone.”
“I think she's determined to prove her autonomy at every turn. We've seen her wrath against me is quite personal and not always rational. Though our deaths might earn his great displeasure, she would weather it. In the end, she is a queen of the Unseelie. He can't unseat her without tearing Seelie and Unseelie apart, and they've both been down that road. ”
“What if she thinks of another reason to keep us here, after you go through this, making it all mean nothing?”
“There are rules here, as Keldwyn said. This will be what earns me standing in her court, and that's a foundation on which everything else can be built, both here and in our own world.” Lyssa gave him a sharp look. “You know all this.”
He took two steps away and swore viciously, kicking the wardrobe hard enough the door slammed closed and a crack appeared in the dark wood. “My place is by your side, Lyssa, and you damn well know it.”
When he turned back to her, furious, dangerous, those red sparks in his eyes, she reached up, laid her hands on his cheeks. It wasn't unexpected when he gripped her wrists, tightening in demand against her will , but she held his gaze, refused to back down.
“Your place is where I tel you to be. You are my servant, are you not? I am your Mistress.” Though he set his jaw stubbornly, she detected the first shard of helpless fury lancing through him. He knew she was going to win this one. A long time ago, she'd wondered why she accepted a difficult, alpha Irishman as a servant, instead of a more docile and accepting beta. There were many answers to that question. Now that she had him, she'd never long for such a beta instead of Jacob, but if he could occasional y revert to a more docile alterego, it would certainly make moments like this go more smoothly.
“This time, I have to go alone. You have to obey me, stay here and stay safe. I know it goes against every instinct you have in that great, noble heart of yours, but it's the way it must be. There is no other option, except failure and its consequences, and we cannot risk Rhoswen's consequences. I will not risk them. But beyond that, this is a quest I must fol ow.
Not because of Rhoswen's demands or motives, not because I fear her. No matter Keldwyn's motives, or Tabor's purported all iance with me, I have to take command of my own destiny.
“Plus,” she added, “I want what she wants. I want to put my hands on that rose bush. I want to hold his soul in my hand, the closest I've ever been to him.
She denied me the chance to see him at the cemetery, and she has denied him. With that soul in my hand, I might at least be able to give him some peace, let him see who I've become.”
Though she'd thought of her father often over the centuries, he'd been a symbol, a concept, an inspiration. Last night's events in the cemetery had made him real. She wanted to hold that true sense of him, feel his presence, let him feel hers.
He pul ed back from her. “This isn't just my stubbornness, my lady, I swear. Everything in me says I'm not supposed to let you do this alone, no matter how that sounds. You've always relied on my gut before.”
“But your gut is wrapped up in your feelings for me, you impossible man.” She shook her head at him, wanting to smile, but things were too tight in her chest to all ow that. “Remember the night I told you about my mother? About her dying of grief? I wasn't aware of it then, but the impact that left with me is part of what gave you access to my heart, Jacob.
When death comes, I will meet it as a queen should, without flinching. That is my hope. But I refuse to die of loneliness, that isolation of the heart and soul never given fully to another. Because I have you, I won't. And that eases me, more than you can ever know. I can face whatever this is, because even when you are not physical y at my side, you are there. Do you understand?”
As he stood, unresponsive, she stroked his face.
She shut her eyes as he tightened his grip once more, but this time he pressed his lips into her palm.
“You have ever known what to say to humble me, my lady. But this tears me apart inside, you know that. I can bear anything in this world except being away from you when you might have need of me.”
“Well, just think how much more appreciative I'l be of your services when I get back.”
His lips tugged up in that wry smile she loved so well. “Yes. I'm certain that will be the case.”
“I sense sarcasm, Sir Vagabond. Maybe you can work on that insolence problem while I'm away.
Though I'm sure it would take far more than three days to resolve it. I would likely have to be involved, with a barbed whip to help inspire you.”
“This flesh, heart and soul is yours to flay anytime, my lady,” he assured her. He narrowed his gaze at the pack. “She's not letting you bring much.”
“No.” She hefted the bag. “Knowing Rhoswen's capriciousness, it's even possible this won't go through with me.”
He pursed his lips, then left her to go to the nighttable. He lifted the sack Keldwyn had given him.
“I'm betting this will . Wily bastard.” Retrieving his knife, he nicked his wrist, a deep gouge. Quickly pushing the narrow mouth of the sack against the wound, he let the stream of blood flow into it.
“If you get injured, this will keep you for a little while. And when I'm done here, you'l drink your fil from me, to add to it.” He paused. “Or rather, I ask my lady to please take advantage of what her servant has to offer, to bolster your strength.”
“You do remember how to ask permission. I was beginning to wonder. You forget your courtly demeanor when you're in a foul temper.” She took over the steadying hold on the neck of the sack. “You forget you're my servant.”
With the freed hand, he cupped her face, fingers wrapping around her nape. “I never forget that, my lady.” She held his gaze, neither of them speaking, his blood flowing between them. When it was nearly ful , she put her slim, feminine fingers around the thick wrist to bring it to her mouth. Fastening her lips over that cut, she drew deep. He muttered another oath, pul ed her closer.
She at least accepted this part of his counsel, taking as much as she could without feeling overfed, enough that he looked somewhat pale when she finished. She didn't like doing that, but it would reassure him that he'd done what he could. And it wasn't patronizing him to think of it that way, because he was right. The extra blood would help if she was wounded or needed an abundance of strength.
Still, as he brought her over to the bed and stretched out on it, drawing her down upon him, she traced his mouth, brought her own to it, let him taste his blood there. “What about you? How will you feed to replenish yourself?”
“I'l figure out something. How are you going to find the rose bush?”
“The same.” She gave him her mysterious smile, but also showed him an indication of what she was thinking. With Rhoswen's spies about, she wasn't going to voice it. He nodded thoughtful y.
“That might work. Of course, maybe one day our Fae friends will start giving straight answers to simple questions.”
“Peace and love will overflow in our world before such an unlikely thing happens.”
“I can see the Vampire Council sharing a group hug now.”
“I'd kil all of them out of sheer horror. Mason would help.”
The skin around his blue eyes creased, appreciating her, but then they held gazes for another long moment. Standing up on the bed, she slid off her leggings, accepting his hands on her calves to steady her. “Take off the hose.” He complied, and he was swel ing for her, ready.
She came down on him, slowly, letting him penetrate deep. “Your hands above your head, love,” she whispered. “Give yourself to me, utterly.” He wanted to touch, hold, but he did it, his jaw working as she seated herself fully with a soft sigh.