“She’s right,” Mia says. “I told you it wasn’t going to be pretty, remember?”
“Addie runs,” Cami says with a nod. “You have to go after her.”
“I’m done begging.” I’m so fucking frustrated.
“She doesn’t want you to beg, you idiot,” Kat says, rolling her eyes. “God, artists are so dramatic. Just go after her. Have a real conversation with her. Tell her what you want.”
“Go,” Christina says, nodding emphatically. “You’ve come this far, don’t give up now.”
“COME ON, ADDIE, answer,” I plead through the white door. “I know you’re home.”
I’ve knocked four times and she won’t answer.
“Take a hint, Jake,” her voice comes through the door. I close my eyes in relief and lean against the jamb.
“If you won’t open up, just listen to me. I have no problem talking through this door, Addie. And I don’t give a fuck if the neighbors can hear.” I swallow hard, gathering my thoughts. “God, I miss you, baby. It was so good to see you tonight. And I know that missing you is my fault. I fucked up big-time.”
I shake my head, and I think I hear her say, “No shit.”
“I got scared, Addison. I mean, there are all of these reasons for why I reacted the way I did, like thinking that I would somehow end up ruining your life, or disappointing you, but in the end, I realize that it was just pure fear. When I thought it was you in that accident, well, I didn’t know that I could feel terror like that. It put me in a bad place, sweetness.”
I’m quiet for a moment when she says, “Keep going.”
“Good, you’re still listening.” I grin. “I knew from the minute I first saw you that you were incredible. You’re so fucking beautiful, Addie. But more than that, you’re . . . you. Smart, kind, funny. When you smile, your whole being lights up, and you make everyone around you light up with you.” I lean my forehead on the door. “Open up, Addie.”
Nothing. So, I keep talking.
“So yes, from that first moment, I had plans, baby. I planned to spend as much time with you as you’d give me. I planned to get to know you, inside and out. And I found more in you than I ever expected to.
“You showed me what I need in a woman, Addison. I need someone who calls me out on my bullshit. I need someone who sees the fire in my eyes and wants to play with it, not try to extinguish it. I need someone who challenges me; in the bedroom, in my career, in my crazy head. And you know what? I found all of that in you.”
Still nothing, and it’s fucking killing me. I want to hold her while I tell her all of this. I don’t want to say it through this fucking door.
“I don’t know how else to say that I’m so sorry for how I acted. I should have come to you, shared my fears with you, rather than run. I should have trusted us as much as you did.”
I swallow hard. God, it really is over. What am I going to do without her?
“You know what, Addie? I learned more about myself in the two months I had with you than I did in my whole life. So, if nothing else, I have to thank you for that. I am so thankful, whether I’m a part of your life or not. And you’re probably right, you do deserve better than me. You deserve so much greatness. Please open this door, Addie. Please let me look you in the eyes so I can tell you how I feel about you.”
There’s a long pause, but finally, finally, she cracks the door, just so I can see her face. She’s not inviting me in.
“Thank you for all of that,” she says quietly. Her eyes are red, but she’s not crying now. “Thank you for the apology.”
“Can I please come inside?”
She chews her lip. “I don’t think so, Jake. I do appreciate your apology. It’s more than I’ve received before, and I didn’t realize how much I needed it until just now.”
“I’ve been apologizing to you all week, sweetheart.”
“No.” She shakes her head, looking resigned. “No, you’ve sent me pretty things and said that you missed me, which was also nice, don’t get me wrong, but that’s very different from an apology.”
I frown, shaking my head. “Addie—”
“No, I’m not saying this to guilt you,” she says. “Did it ever occur to you that while you were sending me expensive flowers and cheeseburgers, what I really wanted was you? Just you.” She smiles softly, taking in my hair, face, and chest. “I’ve never cared about the rest, Jake. The money, or the fame, or the cool house. Those are just the extras. I wanted you, because I felt that click too.”
“Addie—” I try again, but she interrupts me.
“I had an amazing time with you. You are a wonderful man, and you deserve so much greatness too. More than you give yourself credit for, I think.”
“I want you.” I lean in close, able to smell her now. “Just you.”
“You had me,” she replies softly. “And you hurt me.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
“The thing is, Jake, I’ve forgiven before, and it usually ends up the same in the end anyway. I get tossed aside for something else, whatever that may be. I don’t think I would survive it twice with you.”
“Let me inside, Addison.”
“No.” She swallows. “I want nothing but the best for you, Jake Keller.”
“You’re the best for me.”
“No, I’m not. Goodbye, Jake.”