The thought of another man ever taking Anna--taking what was his--twisted up inside of Cole. His hands became fists in her soft hair.
"I'll kill anyone who touches you."
She answered his threat by cupping his balls and taking him deep into her throat.
Just like he'd taught her...that first night when he'd asked her to trust him.
Something inside his chest splintered apart even as his c**k grew harder inside her sweet, sucking mouth.
He'd betrayed her trust again and again, from that first kiss, when he'd convinced her to come to the wedding chapel to say "I do," on that morning he asked her lie to his grandmother, when he'd sat beside her in her parents' house and let her lie to her own family.
He needed to stop this. Needed to stop himself from taking something he didn't deserve from her.
He'd never deserved her, not for one single second that she'd let him be a part of her life .
Her fingernails scratched along the skin behind his balls and he felt them tighten up into his body. She sucked him in deep while laving her tongue along his shaft. Using every last ounce of self-control he possessed, he dragged himself from between her sweet lips.
"No, baby. Not like this."
But her eyes were wild and that wildness made her stronger, stronger even than a man who tackled giants for a living. She gripped his hands, tugged him over her as they tumbled onto the floor.
Cole couldn't leave her, couldn't possibly walk away from her. He needed her too badly, needed to erase the storm in her ocean eyes--and even more, needed to find a way to smooth out the lines of sadness around her soft mouth.
He tried to thread his fingers through hers, but instead of letting him hold onto her, she put her hands on his face and leaned up to kiss him, biting, sucking, stealing his breath away.
A stronger man would have stopped her.
A good man would have known that kisses like this would only make things worse.
Fuck. He had no practice at being that man. Didn't know the first thing about taking care of anyone but himself--and his grandmother.
But even seeing the fallout right in front of him, even knowing he wouldn't be able to erase the guilt when they were done, he couldn't stop himself from pushing her thighs apart with his knee.
And then he saw the thin barrier of her panties.
Thank God.
He couldn't just take her. Couldn't do the one thing he knew he'd regret forever.
But just when he was on the verge of thinking clearly again, Anna dropped her hands from his face and yanked aside the crotch of the panties, revealing her sweet, silky pu**y to him.
Even then he might have been able to fight himself back, might have had a prayer of getting off the floor and not pounding into her, if she hadn't said, "Take me, Cole. I can't stand it anymore. I need you inside of me. All day I've needed you. Even when I hated you, I still needed you. Still craved your touch. Your kisses. Your cock."
He'd loved to hear her beg, loved knowing he'd made her so crazy with need that she no longer had any way of fighting her arousal. But, God, he'd never wanted to hear her sound like this, like she was a woman who didn't have any other option but to beg a man who'd hurt her to f**k her. Like she was trying to screw away her pain, doing anything she could to trade it away for a moment's pleasure.
"Please." Her voice broke on the simple word.
And Cole's heart broke, too."I love you, sweetheart," he vowed. "I love you so damn much it's killing me."
Her eyes flashed with momentary hope before pain came crashing back down, so much pain that he'd never hated himself more even as he pushed into the warmest, wettest comfort he'd ever known.
"Anna." He had to drive all the way into her, watching her neck fall back as a whimper of deep pleasure left her throat. "My sweet Anna."
Her hands were where he'd taught her to keep them, up above her head, her nails scratching at the wood floor. But he'd taught her that when he'd stupidly thought that f**king her was just a game.
What an idiot he'd been. Because Anna had never been a game, not from that first second he'd seen her across a crowded room.
She'd always been perfection.
And pure love.
But he'd been scared of feeling so much, so fast. He'd thought he needed freedom, only to find out too late that freedom was the biggest lie of all. Freedom was nothing but missing her already, even while she was here in his arms. Freedom was nothing but wishing he'd had a f**king clue what he'd had when she was his.
He reached up for her hands again, couldn't stand not holding onto her, but when he placed his palms over hers, she flinched.
Cole bowed his head.
And grieved. For the woman he'd lost.
Because even though she was right there with him, the truth was that she was already gone.
And still, he couldn't let go, had to hold onto her as their bodies drove towards a completion that they simply couldn't fight.
A droplet of liquid fell from his face onto hers and she opened her eyes.
Cole didn't remember crying as a child at the loss of his parents. He hadn't cried when his grandmother had told him she was dying. He'd thought he was too strong to ever break.
How wrong he'd been.
"I love you, Anna. Forever."
At the same time as he made his vow to her with words, he made it with his body, driving up into the spot that was guaranteed to send them both over the edge.
But even as her ocean eyes swirled from green to a dark blue, even as she cried out against him, even as he made sure that she was connected to him in the most elemental of ways...Cole had never felt more separated from her.
She was giving him her body as openly as ever, but even as she'd let him kiss her, touch her, even as she'd cried out with pleasure beneath him, she was holding back the most important thing of all.
Not the love that he knew she still felt for him. No matter how well she thought she'd
"learned" how to be sensual, it was love that made her respond to him.
But she didn't trust him anymore.
And losing the trust of the sweet, innocent woman he'd propositioned in a Las Vegas club was by far the hardest hit Cole had ever taken.
Big enough that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to play the game again.
His grandmother's words came at him as if she were there in the room with them. "Can't you see your entire future is Anna? Don't throw it all away. You've fought before. Fight again.