Chapter Twenty-three
Valentina was standing in the middle of the trailer when Smith stepped inside. God, even looking at her now away from the lights and cameras and the crew, he couldn't get her expression when they'd finished filming out of his head.
Knowing how thin his thread was where Valentina was concerned, as soon as they'd started shooting the sex scene, Smith had steeled himself not to look at her, and to keep his full focus on Tatiana. But it had been impossible to block Valentina out, as for the first time ever while working, he felt completely ripped in two.
All it would have taken was one look into her devastated eyes and he would have made the split-second decision not only to cut a scene that needed so badly to be in his movie, but also to call a halt to the day's filming altogether. Were it not for the cast and crew and studios and investors that were counting on him to get it right, he would have walked off the set, taken Valentina's hand, and disappeared with her to a place where Hollywood and make-believe didn't exist.
And yet, after he and Tatiana finally finished filming what had been the most difficult scene of his career, and he'd let himself turn to Valentina again, Smith hadn't been anywhere close to prepared for how pale her skin had become, how horrified her eyes had been...or the mask of betrayal and sadness she wore.
Had he made the wrong choice?
And had he just lost the only thing that truly mattered?
Unexpectedly, Summer and his brother Gabe had come to see him on set and even though he loved the kid to pieces, every second away from Valentina had been excruciating. He'd needed to go to her, to try to make things right. Thankfully, his brother had been able to tell something was wrong. On a promise to bring Summer back to the set soon, Gabe had distracted her with a table of sweets for the crew.
After they left, Smith had all but sprinted off the set to get to Valentina. No one dared to get in his way, and if they had, he would have mowed them down. Now that he was finally with her, he didn't think, could barely string two thoughts together when she was near. He just pulled her into his arms...and prayed she wouldn't pull away.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for today to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I won't ever hurt you again, I promise." With every sentence, he stroked one hand down her back, her hands trapped against his chest. She had to feel just how hard, how fast his heart was beating.
"It did hurt," she said softly into his neck, and the one short sentence felt like it had reached in and ripped his heart out. "But - " The breath she took shook her chest. " - it wasn't you who hurt me. I did it to myself."
He drew back so that he could look into her eyes. He didn't completely understand what she'd just said and he needed to. "I screwed this up so bad, I can't believe it. I prepared Tatiana for today, but I - " Damn it, he should have tried harder to talk with Valentina about today before it happened, but he'd been afraid. Afraid that even talking about it would make her run. "My entire career, I never had a problem with filming sex scenes. But it killed me today. Please, tell me it isn't too late to tell you how much it kills me to touch anyone but you."
"It's part of your job, Smith, one I don't want to steal piece by piece from you because you're worried about what I might think or feel about you playing a certain role."
But didn't she see? He'd been so worried about the importance of investors and the studio and his reputation that he hadn't realized what was truly important until it was nearly too late.
Her.
"I didn't think today would be so hard. Not after all the times I've had to pretend to make love with married actresses, with women I don't like, with complete strangers, even with friends." He dropped his hands from her shoulders and moved away in self-disgust, his hands going to his hair, pulling the dark strands up straight. "Being with your sister onscreen today was the hardest thing I've ever done."
He could see in Valentina's eyes the same bleakness that he felt down deep in his soul. He hadn't cheated on her, but nothing felt right anymore. A simple, pure love story without strife or complication was what he'd wanted so badly to give her. But he'd given her just the opposite today.
And, still, even though it wasn't fair to ask her for anything else, he wanted so much from her.
So much more than he'd ever wanted from any other woman.
"I'm not going to lie to you," she said softly, "today was bad. Really, really bad."
When he winced at the terrible part he'd played in causing her so much pain, she reached for him. He looked down at her elegant fingers on the muscles of his forearm, then found himself holding his breath as she slowly slid them down to his hand.
Her fingers entwined with his and he had to lift her hand to his mouth to press a kiss to it, whether she wanted him to or not.
"I didn't know I was capable of that much jealousy," she admitted with a rueful twist of her lips into something that no one would ever call a smile. "I know there is nothing between you two. I even know that there never could be, that you're like brother and sister, but..." She took a shaky breath that was like a punch to his chest. "But it was so hard to remember any of that when you were - " She shook her head. "No. I don't want to relive it anymore, not with the crazy soundtrack from today still playing in my head." She moved closer, close enough now that he could feel the heat of her body all along his. "Help me make a new one, Smith."
All he wanted was to kiss her, to love her, but not just for those reasons.
"I've never wanted a woman more than I want you, but I want our lovemaking to be more than just a way for you to forget what happened today. I need us to be more than that, Valentina."
He saw the effect of his words laid bare on her face. He wasn't going to hold back anymore. He couldn't. Not when he'd come so close to losing her today.
"What - "
When she paused, Smith found it so damned difficult to let one of the most extraordinary women he'd ever met stumble on her question, but as much as he wanted to steamroll her into loving him the way he knew he loved her, he forced himself to wait.
Finally, she asked, "What do you want? What do you need?"
"You."
It was as simple as that. He suspected it always would be. From that first moment he'd met her, he'd been drawn to her. Making love with her had taken that sudden spark and magnified it until he'd become utterly consumed with her. Not just her body, not just her unbridled passion, but everything she was, inside and out.
"I want you, too."
Her words came so softly that he'd barely have been able to hear them if he hadn't been praying for them with every fiber of his soul.
For all the suffering that today's filming had caused, maybe it was exactly the turning point they both needed.
He slid the pad of his thumb across her full lower lip and she shuddered at his touch, the strong woman who always trembled so beautifully in his arms. "You already have me, Valentina. You know that. So tell me - " He paused to draw on his self-control so that he didn't give in to the almost overpowering urge to take before she had a chance to give. " - what else do you want?"
"I want - "
She paused again, but this time when she looked into his eyes, he could see her strength, clear and present on her beautiful face. And the determination that was so much a part of her.
"I want to try. I haven't given you - us - a chance. I mean, I know I've taken a chance on sleeping with you," she said with a heated flush that had him wanting to pull her down to the floor to take her right then and there, "but I haven't let myself think that anything more could be possible." She looked incredibly contrite as she said, "I've been unfair to you. And I think," she said slowly, "to myself, too."
She was still holding his gaze straight on, and hot damn if that didn't do it for him just as much as her momentary lapse into softness did. Oh yes, all the contours and shapes, the sharp edges and rounded curves, the fire and the ice...every last cell that made up Valentina Landon did it for him.
"Would you like to go out on a date with me?"
Joy at her question came so sharp and sweet he could all but taste it as he grinned at her. "There's nothing I'd like more."
But instead of grinning back, she said, "Nothing?" in a seductive voice that sent every last pint of blood rushing south.
"Well, now that you mention it," he said as she closed the final distance between them and pressed herself against him, "there might be one or two things."
Her mouth lifted up to his and even as he tried to let her lead their sensual dance, he was lost to his need for her. There was no one but Valentina as whatever remnants were left from more than twenty years of women were completely erased from his consciousness as her tongue slid out over his lower lip to mimic the way he'd been touching her just minutes before. He sucked her tongue inside so that it tangled with his as her hands tugged at his shirt.
Buttons flew as she yanked the fabric open and shoved the cotton off his shoulders and onto the floor. Smith loved that no one who had met Valentina, not even her close friends, would recognize her right now. So much passion drove her that it floored him every single time they were intimate with each other.
And all of that passion was his.
"It should have been me today." She followed her words by pressing a kiss to the hollow just beneath his Adam's apple. "I love my sister so much and what you two were doing wasn't even real and I still wanted to shove her off the bed and take her place beneath you."
Every spot her sister's mouth had been during filming, Valentina now covered with her lips, running kisses over his shoulders, and then his collarbones. She made hungry little sounds as she reclaimed him for herself and each one reverberated through him, from chest to groin.
Lord, if he was going to stay upright, he needed something to hold on to. Thank God her h*ps were right there, surprising him yet again with how full and round they were beneath his palms.
Valentina was a continual surprise - and pleasure - to him, from her passion and her unexpected softness, to her incredible intelligence and her boundless well of love for her sister. Life with her would never be boring. She would never tell him what he wanted to hear, would never spend a second massaging his ego because he was a wealthy superstar. It made him uncomfortable the way so many people kowtowed to him, but Valentina never had, and never would.
And she would please him every single second, whether she was stealing puzzle pieces from him...or stealing his heart every time he looked at her, kissed her, touched her, loved her.
The next thing he knew, she was pushing him down onto the couch. Satisfaction lit her eyes as she stared down at him. He was sprawled on the leather cushions, bare from the waist up, legs open from where she'd pushed him so that his throbbing desire for her was clearly evident in the wardrobe suit pants that he still wore.
One second she was moving away to lock the trailer door, the next she was pulling out the band that held her sleek ponytail in place as she came back toward him. Her black fitted jacket came off next, followed shortly by a silk camisole. The sight of her br**sts rising up from sheer lace had his vision dimming enough that by the time it cleared again, she was standing in front of him in lingerie and heels - another one of the sets he'd bought for her.
A raw curse left his lips at the most beautiful sight he'd ever had the pleasure of witnessing.
Her mouth curved up at his crude language. "How'd you know that was exactly what I was hoping you'd say when you saw me wearing another one of your gifts?"
"You're the gift," he told her, meaning it so deeply he could hardly get the words out.
She seemed to wobble on her heels for a moment at the emotion in his voice. But then she was coming toward him and, as if in slow motion, dropping to her knees between his legs. She didn't reach for his belt buckle, simply pressed her mouth to his in a soft kiss that stole his breath, even as the sheer knowledge of what was coming had him almost losing it.
Sweet Lord, he was never going to survive this. They'd have to find someone to take over for him on the movie because he was going to die of pleasure tonight.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
"I know there will be other actresses that you'll have to kiss," she said when she took her mouth from his and pressed her palms flat over his pecs, "but the only woman I ever want you to think of is me." Her nails lightly scored his chest, down over his abs, which rippled beneath her touch as she marked him as hers.
"You are the only woman I'm thinking about," he swore.
From the first moment he'd touched her, she'd been all he wanted, all he desired, his obsession. He couldn't deny the truth, didn't see the point in wasting any energy when there were so many better places to put it.
Not when winning Valentina's heart was the only thing that mattered anymore.
Instead of giving any indication that she'd heard him, she lowered her head and licked over his chest. The tips of her soft hair flickered over his skin, teasing him just as unbearably as her tongue and teeth did to his sensitive skin. He couldn't hold back a groan of pleasure that mingled closely with frustration.
He was bigger, stronger. He could have her flat on her back and be inside of her in seconds. It would be so good, better than good. But he'd hurt her so badly today that for her to reclaim her power, she'd need to run their lovemaking from start to finish. And, damn it, since he couldn't give her the gift of not filming the sex scene, he'd at least make sure she had this. Still, he couldn't keep his hands from tangling in her silky hair as she roamed his skin with her lips and tongue and teeth.
Did she have any idea how sexy she was kneeling between his legs in the bra and thong and heels, as sensual in their private darkness as she was conservative in front of everyone else in daylight? Finally, she lifted her head from his stomach and licked her lips.
"That's much better," she murmured, more to herself than to him as she deftly unlaced his shoes and slid them off, along with his socks. He would have smiled at the sweetness of her comment if she hadn't reached for his belt buckle just then.
He sucked in a breath as her fingertips teased over his stomach while she smoothly slid the leather buckle open. It didn't seem to matter how many times they had each other, every time was a new beginning, a voyage of discovery that blew his mind apart all over again.
She held his gaze as she slowly pulled down his zipper. He was pretty sure he'd forgotten to breathe as he stared back into her beautiful hazel eyes, more green than brown, a color he knew he would always associate with passion. And then, she was tugging at his slacks and he was instinctively lifting his h*ps so that she could get them off. His boxers came off with them until he was sitting in front of her, na**d and as hard as he'd ever been in his life.
Deep pleasure lit Valentina's eyes, her mouth a sensual curve as she watched his hard flesh bob and pulse in a silent plea for attention.
"Mine," she said in a soft voice, close enough to him that he could feel the warm rush of air over his skin as she spoke.
Another low groan sounded from his chest as she licked her lips again, and then - oh hell - she was bending over and her tongue was on him, slicking a devastating path over his hard shaft. His fingers tangled tighter in her hair as he unconsciously pulled her down to take him deeper.
He thought he heard the sweet sound of her laughter, but then she was opening up and taking him inside and he was lost to everything but the heated pleasure she was giving him.
"Valentina."
Her name was a prayer. A plea. A benediction.
And a vow that he would give her just as much pleasure as she was so unselfishly giving him. Soon.
If he were a better man, a stronger one, he would have stopped her to make sure she was satisfied more than once before he even thought about himself. But the way Valentina so openly tasted him, the fact that she wasn't holding anything back from him as she hummed her pleasure at his loss of control, stripped him bare.
He'd had to be in control his whole life. For his family, for his mother, for his siblings, on movie sets and with the press. But with her he could let go of all of it.
And just be.
On a roar of pleasure that reverberated throughout the trailer, he gave himself entirely up to Valentina's mouth, her hands, the greedy little sounds she made as she used her hands and mouth to take him to the edge and then all the way over it.
When she sat back on her heels, licking her lips like a contented cat, Smith couldn't manage to do anything but stare down at her. Her hair was knotted from his hands, her lipstick was long gone, her skin was slightly damp, her cheeks flushed.
The words I love you were on the tip of his tongue, but even as far gone as he was after what she'd just done to him, he knew better than to tell her now. When he finally told her how he felt, he would make damn sure she didn't try to write his feelings off as driven by the heat they generated between the sheets.
Or on the couch, for that matter.
But even though he couldn't tell her tonight, he could show her. And even though he knew she was afraid to hear what he was telling her with his mouth, his hands, his body, he would make her listen.
The same way she'd just made him.