“Tudor?”
There was one last thing I needed to tell him, bearing my soul. “Please don’t hurt me,” I whispered.
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I won’t, I promise, I couldn't live with myself if I did.”
He stood slowly, taking me with him, and led me back into the warmth of the apartment. He picked up my coat and gloves that had been discarded on the table and helped me into them. Walking to the closet, he reached for his jacket and car keys and held out his hand for me to take.
We began walking towards the door, when he stopped. “Hang on for just a second,” he said, and darted to my bedroom.
A few moments later, he came back holding his scarf that he had retrieved from under my pillow. I blushed as he wrapped it around my neck, praying he didn’t think I was a stalker, and he kissed me on the tip of my nose,
“You made me yours and I made you mine, we will work if we try hard enough.”
I nodded in agreement, and he took my hand and led me out the door.
Chapter 22
The wrath of a fairy
We drove over an hour out of town to the beautiful Kananaskis National Park. Tudor didn’t want to go somewhere busy or local as he wanted to spend all his time with me and not deal with the public. He apparently had just the spot that he wanted to take me, Forget-Me-Not Ridge.
On the journey he never let go of my hand and kissed me at every stop sign, every red light – basically every possible opportunity. He was demonstrating his unrivalled affection towards me after the cluster-fuck that was the lies sprouting from the mouth of that bitch, Raquel Banks.Arriving at Tudor’s chosen location, we climbed out of the car and strolled in silence for what seemed like hours, hand-in-hand, enjoying the peace and the togetherness after the emotional drama of the morning.
He led me to the top of a hill overlooking the Forget-Me-Not pond, and I almost cried at the stunning view of the surrounding snowcapped Rocky Mountains. My appreciative gaze drifted over to Tudor; his eyes were closed, head back, breathing in deeply while clutching my hand to his chest. He was smiling. It was perfect. Tudor and me, and no-one getting in the way, not even skinny blonde actresses with a penchant for Tudor-based delusions.
When Tudor finally let me take a break from walking, we took a seat on a bench at one of the isolated vantage points. Snuggling into the crook of Tudor’s arm, I drew together all my courage. I needed answers to some questions. I realised I had said yes to Tudor and a relationship very quickly, ignoring all of the times he had dismissed me and upset me. A twelve-hour, mind-blowing sex session can kind of do that to a girl. I probably let the feminist movement down somewhat with my acceptance of Tudor’s affections after being treated so badly. I knew he was sorry, his actions more than made up for that, but I needed to talk, to help me figure it all out in my head.
I turned to my new boyfriend, who was already staring at me, rubbing his lips together in worry. I was startled to see him already waiting for me to speak. It was like the boy could read my mind.
“You have an expressive face, remember.” he announced sadly.
Goddamnit Tash, you couldn’t lie if your life depended on it. Well, here we go, time to forge ahead.
“I need to know why you fought us for so long. Why did you try to push me away? Why didn’t you want to be with me?” I said in a rush before I chickened out from asking what I needed to know.
He sighed and glanced away. “I didn't think I was right for you, Tash. I still don't, you are too good for me. I thought if I pushed you away, then you could never want me like I wanted you and the attraction would be mine to deal with, and mine alone. But when I upset you at the pond, it nearly killed me. I freaked. Believe me when I say that you were never the problem, it was my issues that made me act like a fool. I can't even think back to what I said to you, how I made you feel. I knew I’d cave in the end, I wanted you too damn much. You can only fight so long before your heart ultimately defeats your best intentions.”
“What issues made you act a fool, Tude?” I pushed.
He hesitated. “I-I… I can’t say. It’s not another woman, or that I'm embarrassed of you, I don’t want you to ever think that. It’s complicated, and I can’t talk about it, but believe me when I say that I’ll protect you from it. Damn it, I want to tell you but I just... can't,” he slumped forward in defeat.
I rolled my head back in exasperation. What was his friggin’ problem? Why did he have to hide so much?
He read my expression and gripped my hand. “Tash, this won’t be forever. Hopefully it will be resolved soon, and I promise you’ll know everything. I just can’t tell you now, I can't risk it getting out into the public, and before you say it, I know you wouldn't tell anyone, but there's legal shit to deal with and... I just can't risk it. I just don’t want you to give up on me.” He leaned forward and put his head in his hands.