I help Chelcie off the table and steady her until she can straighten her clothing. She looks up at me, questions in her eyes, and I just smile. I know she’s wondering how I’m dealing with all of this. Truth be told, this is the most astounding moment of my life. I can’t describe what that felt like. To hear the life growing inside her belly was thrilling and magical. I don’t think, until this moment, that it had really hit me that this is real.
Dr. Sosa leads us down the hall into a room that is dimly lit. There’s an exam table that looks more comfortable than the last one she was in and a big machine with all sorts of knobs and shit on it next to the table. And then there’s the screen. A large projector type screen sits opposite her table.
I take another deep breath, help Chelcie back onto the table, and move to stand out of the way. Before I can get too far, her hand shoots out and grabs my arm.
She looks at me shyly for a second before speaking. “Please? You belong right next to me, baby.”
Well hell, you don’t have to tell me twice. She keeps hold of my hand as we wait for the doctor to enter some information into the machine at Chelcie’s hip. After a few minutes, she squirts that gel back on her stomach, only a hell of a lot more, and presses what I’m assuming is the wand to her stomach. Thank God she prepared me for this because there is no way that’s comfortable.
“You okay, Sunshine?” I question.
Her eyes glaze over, looking over my shoulder. “I’m perfect,” she hums. “Look,” she demands, raising the hand I’m not holding and pointing to the wall.
I turn and immediately feel my body rock. It feels like an earthquake just rocked the very foundation I’m standing on. There, looking back at me, is a large, black-and-white, fuzzy image. A moving image that is clearly…a baby.
The baby.
“Is that?” I inquire, my voice a low whisper.
“That’s our baby,” Chelcie says with awe. She doesn’t even seem to notice that she called the baby ours. I’m unsure if the feeling of pride that is washing through my system is from that one softly spoken word or seeing the baby for the first time.
“Beautiful,” I slur through the thick knot of emotion burning my throat.
I don’t even bother hiding the amazement and unadulterated wonder. This is a moment in my life that I will never forget.
“Everything looks beautiful. Would you two like to know what the gender is? I’ve got quite a clear shot,” she laughs.
“Please,” I whisper, looking down into Chelcie’s wet eyes.
She nods her head, and then I hear it. Another moment in my life when I’m knocked right on my ass.
“Congratulations, you’ve got a perfectly healthy baby boy.”
A boy.
In that moment, I feel like my brother is right here with us. Cheering right along with us. Enjoying this moment for everything it is. Celebrating the life he created. Happy and content.
And that’s all it takes for me to drop to my knees and press my forehead to Chelcie’s belly. I don’t even give a damn that that gel crap is getting all over me. I bring my hands up and frame her stomach, whispering words of love and promises of the future I’ll make sure this little boy has. I can feel Chelcie’s shudders and I know that she’s crying again, but I don’t dare call her on it since I can feel the tears falling from my own eyes.
After a few minutes, I climb to my feet and rub my eyes against my sleeve before moving in, taking her face between my palms, and kissing her with everything I have. We don’t need words right now. She knows—she gets it.
I vaguely hear the click of the door as the doctor leaves us to our moment. Lost in our own thoughts but connected together with our love for each other and our love for this baby.
This little boy.
Our little boy.
I smile against her lips, feeling a weightlessness cover over me.
You did it, little brother, I think. I’m going to make sure that your son knows just how brave his father was. Not one day, Coop… Not one day will go by that I won’t show him how much he’s loved. He will never once question if he’s wanted, I promise you that.
When we leave the doctor, I notice that not once has our smiles slipped from either of our faces.
“I love you, Sunshine.”
“I love you back, baby.”
Chapter 22 – Chelcie
It’s been a week since the doctor’s appointment, a week since we found out that I’m having a baby boy. It’s been such an incredible week. Between working part time with Dee, working on my book, and falling into Asher’s arms at night, my life couldn’t be fuller. I’m beyond happy right now and I don’t think anything can change that.
Asher’s been over the moon since we found out. At first, I could tell he was trying to hide his happiness. The uncertainty with his role in the baby’s life was weighing heavily on him. I didn’t waste a second before letting him know exactly how I felt about it. How I wanted things to be.
I told him, while sitting in his lap in his Jeep, my arms around his neck and my forehead pressed to his, that, in my heart, he’s this baby’s father. Not in the way that he is replacing Coop or Coop’s part in this baby’s life. I want Asher to raise this child alongside of me. I want this baby to look at Asher with the same love I feel, wake up asking for his daddy and Asher is there. And…I want Asher to be by my side every night we tell our son about how brave his daddy Coop was. This baby would never question who fathered him, but he would also know the very tangible love of his daddy.
Asher didn’t even fight me on it, as I’d expected. He just pressed his body closer and thanked me over and over again. From that moment on, we’ve grown even closer as a couple. Our love for each other and our love for our child is so all consuming that there is no doubt in my mind that I’m the luckiest woman on the planet.
I grab the mail from Joe before making my way up to my apartment. I had to go into the office today and talk to Dee. Ash and I talked last night and we both decided that I would stop working for her. He wants me to focus on enjoying my pregnancy, and he’s been urging me to finish my book. His faith in my dream and me is what finally caused me to make a decision. She was naturally upset that I would be leaving her at the end of the month, just two weeks away, but she also understood why.
I think her confidence in me really helped to make me see that this is the right move. I might have never had the courage to take this step, but I want nothing more than to make all of them proud of me.